The Marathon

So...where did we leave off? 10:35 p.m.? OK

I was able to sleep from about 12:00 midnight to 1:00 a.m., at which point I really started to get my stuff together, and woke Alan up. There was certainly no doubt at this point that the membranes had ruptured and at about 1:00, I was sure that I was having consistent contractions...far apart, but consistent and not comfortable. We got packed up, I tried to find something comfy to wear, since I had gone through 4 pairs of paints by then, and found some towels for the road. I was feeling really excited and optimistic.

We arrived at the hospital around 2:30 and they admitted me after confirming that the fluid was amniotic. They got us settled in a room, and my nurse, Heather, came in to get a history and baseline strip on me and Sawyer, and another nurse came in to start an IV, so they could get me on the Ampicillin for the GBS. The nurse missed my IV placement, and then finally got one to feed and started the antibiotics. The strip confirmed that I was in labor and that Sawyer was perfectly happy. No pelvic exam at that point, so I was to wait until my doctor came in the morning. I called my doula and told her we were settled, and that I would call her as we progressed. She said that if I had not heard from her by 6, to call her.

So...I was pretty comfortable, Alan and I took a spin around the floor (I didn't have the constant monitoring or IV fluids) and kind of hung out in the room. I could not sleep, and Alan got a little sleep. By around 5:00, I was thinking I would need some support from my doula before long, so I called her, but she was already almost there. She couldn't get back to sleep and figured that if I had called her in the first place, I probably couldn't wait until 6:00, which was actually the case. My contractions had started to get stronger, although not really closer together. O could manage them by just thinking elsewhere and breathing, but they definitely started to get a bit ouchy.

Lisa got there and we took another walk around, not so quickly this time, and I had to get back to the room do they could get another strip and a dose of Ampicillin (q. 4 h.) so we headed back. From here on out, time is lost on me, except for certain times and the sequence of events is fuzzy, but I will do my best. I was starting to get more intense contractions, so I got in the shower, and put the sprayer right on my back, which really helped me through. I was in there for a LONG time. Whenever I used the spray head, it almost seemed like I wasn't feeling any pain. I got out and my doctor came in between 7:00 and 8:00. I think this is when I was 4 cm, 50% effaced and soft, though Sawyer was still not engaged. I was really encouraged.

With this type of progress, I felt really good about the prospect that I could make it through this time without drugs. almost 1/2 way there, and not too bad. I started using the birthing ball a lot, went in the spa tub, but that didn't actually help me as much as the shower, so we headed back. It was time for another dose of Ampicillin and a strip. I think it was around 10:00 and I had gotten to 6 cm, I think. I was still 4 to 5 minutes apart, lasting less than a minute. I labored some more in the shower, which still helped, but not as much. They checked again and I was at 7cm around 11:00 or so. I was really hapy that I had progressed, but had hoped for a bit more. At this point, the surges were getting pretty intense, and I was doing my best to cope. I had another check shortly after and was still at 7cm. At that point, I laid in bed for a bit, and the pain parted to get better. I stayed there for a while, as I was thinking that I somehow was just coping better in that position...Not really... My doctor came back to check me and I hadn't budged a bit and my contractions were slowing. It was at this point (maybe at 2:00 ?) that he told me he was going to give me a bit longer to get these contractions going again, or we'd have to consider pitocin. The nurses and doula were having me walk, bounce (horribly painful) and sway. Anything to try to get something started. I had barely been coping with the pain approaching this point, and this thing of TRYING to make it more intense was awful. It was working, but horrible to get through. My contractions were getting closer together and more severe, but when that hour was up, and my doctor came back in to check me, I hadn't budged at all and Sawyer was actually even higher up than he had been before. That was at around 4:00. I panicked a bit. I told Alan, my Doula and nurse that I did not think I could handle augmented labor. The nurse told me, "Oh, you'll only be given a whiff of Pitocin, it won't be that bad," My Doula said, "you've come this far some well, I KNOW you can do this, and know you'll do what's best for your baby," and Alan just tried to play Devil's Advocate. I was pretty upset and certainly scared. I KNOW what trying to go through augmented labor is like with out pain relief. THAT is WHY I was scared. I had done so well, but just couldn't bear the thought of handling those jagged contractions so hard and often. I told my doula and Alan that I did not want to do that. My doula gave me time alone with Alan and I told him I was done. I had come this far, but it was not all for nothing. I wanted to get the epidural and get this finished and have our son. He told my doula, who immediately seemed deflated. She went out to the desk to tell my nurse and doctor and they were actually thankful that I had made that decision and wasn't going to try to go through Pitocin without drugs. I wanted it done RIGHT THEN, though, now that I made the decision. I made them promise no one would come near me with Pitocin without the Epidural in place...they complied. I had three sets of contractions before the Epidural was in place (the anesthesiologist was a total jerk, but I choose to forget about him) and it was not soon enough! My back had started to really be in pain, switching from right to left side, which I could only guess was Sawyer's legs lodged above where the epidural had effect. The contractions were better, but that back pain, yikes. They started to Pitocin at 4:30-ish, then I finally got to a position where that back pain was also alleviated, and I went to sleep.

I dozed in and out, and heard them keep coming in to up the Pitocin, as not much was happening. I did get to 8cm rather easily, but after that...it was slow going. The back pain started to come back and I was exhausted. I heard, at around 10:00 them tell me that I had been put on the maximum dose of Pitocin and that they figured out that my IV had not been hooked up to the drip for some time, but that they had just reattached me and started over again. I was too tired to be irate, and zoned out again. All this time, my doctor was checking me often and I had only gotten to 9 cm when they had restarted the drip...by 11:00 p.m., I was at 9.5 and almost 90% effaced, but Sawyer was not at zero station yet. 11:30 (already back up to max. dose of Pitocin) my doctor came in, and I had not progressed at all. He had an idea, that if I just tried to push once to see if I could get Sawyer past that lip of cervix, then he would advise delivering, but if not, we'd have to wait. I should point out that the rush to get me delivered all day stemmed from me breaking my waters at 7:30 p.m. the night before. We were now well beyond the 24 hours they were comfortable with and I was getting nervous that they were going to suggest a c-section, and truthfully, I was just spent. I was nervouse that I would have another 1.75 pushing session like with Evie, not be able to get him out, and that they'd have to go in and get him. I was all for the "test push" idea. I pushed with my next contraction and lucking Sawyer glided right past my Cervix and down far enough that my doc could see his head. He told me to take a small rest and that he'd be in and we'd get this baby out. I rested for the next 20 minutes and then right before midnight I started to push.

I pushed three times in my first set of contractions and got Sawyer close to crowning. The next set had him crowning. I skipped a set that weren't that strong (I could feel really well this time...could feel the contractions, could feel him moving through the canal, it was great) and then on the next, asked if I could push. They told me to go ahead, and with the first push, I got his head out. I expected his body to just come out, but it didn't. They told me to push, even though there were no contractions, so I did...his upper body started to come. There were comments as to how long he was, and how big...push again...and with my doctor's help...he was out. I could NOT believe it. 12:20 a.m. I had my boy. They got him right to my chest (apparently he had more cord than they had ever seen) and I just marveled at this guy. The oohs and Aahs were all around, how big he was, how easy that was, etc. Alan cut the cord and came over with me to meet the little man. He cried and then calmed right down. He latched on to my breast so well and we were right then Mother and Son. I held him there for a nice long time, and then the curiosity got the better of me and I let them take him to the scale. We had all made guesses, but he exceeded them all. 10 lbs., 4 oz, and 21 and 3/4 inches. OK...that is big. I delivered the placenta without trouble and waited for my doctor to tell me I had torn, which I hadn't felt, but just assumed. I had not...no stitches, just a bruise and swelling. Wow, I thought, this was incredible! I was so happy and proud and satisfied, I told my doula that I knew right then that I'd never regret however I got to this point. We took pictures, and everyone cleared out. We texted some family and close friends a picture and his stats. It was crazy how many people must have been waiting for that because the calls and texts started pouring in. I was on cloud nine, and could NOT believe how well I felt. I nursed him more and was so happy.

Around 1:00 a.m., They got me my dinner while a nurse took Sawyer to do his bath and screening. While he was gone, they did his 1 hour Blood Glucose. It was 35 (should be over 45) so they informed me that he HAD to get supplementation and they'd recheck him in 1 hour. The nurse fed him some formula and then left him with us. They came back, and his BG was 53, so they told me they'd not have to give him glucose, but that until my milk came in, I'd have to keep supplementing him with formula, which I was not happy about, but was OK with, for his sake. I fed him again, and we fell asleep for almost 5 hours! we woke up and got breakfast and just got to know our man. He was doing well, and I was really doing great...able to get around no problem, and really quite comfortable. The only thing troubling was that my breast seemed to have already developed a blocked duct, which was in the back of my mind as a bummer.

Eventually, Alan left to go pick up Evie and I got some alone time with Sawyer. It was wonderful. Just before dinner, Alan came back with Evie. That was one of the best times of my life. She came in, tentatively at first, and then saw me and Sawyer and was beaming. "Baby?!", she said. And climbed right up to meet him. She was SO sweet and somehow seemed to know that THIS was the baby we'd been talking about for so long. It was awesome! We all ordered dinner and ate our first meal together as a family, watching Jeopardy and Wheel, as we do every night, but in the hospital room instead of at the kitchen table, this time. Evie then started to be a 2.5 year old, and Alan took her home. I was alone again with Sawyer and had the nicest nurse some in and check on us every so often and just chat. I again got a lot of sleep, as Sawyer just ate then went back to sleep. What a nice night. The next morning, I ate breakfast and waited for my doctor to come do Sawyer's Circumcision, which was to be around 11:00. Alan had to take Evie to daycare and go in to work for a bit and got there around 11:30, just as they were bringing Sawyer back from getting snipped. They wanted us to wait an hour before leaving to check his site, so we ordered lunch and ate together and got packed up. The nurse went through everything with us and we got to leave! We walked out to a beautiful, windy warm day, much like the day we brought Evie home.

We got home around 1:30 and it felt great to be home. Sawyer ate (breast and bottle) and went to sleep for a while and we got settled in. Alan went to get Evie and got home around 6:00, at which point I was getting sleepy. I made some dinner, and we went to sleep around 8:00, right after Evie (who still was LOVING the baby.) Woke up around 10:30 with him, fed him, changed diaper and clothes, and then tried to get him to go back to bed. No Dice. He spit up, cried was hungry again, had dirty diapers and was all around cranky until I breast fed him again and topped him off with formula t 2:30! We did get to sleep until around 8:00, when Evie woke me up. I felt awful...I snapped at her because she busted in my room and was so loud. I said, Get out, Evie," and she broke out crying. I was up and soothing her at that point and felt the worst guilt. Sawyer was still asleep, and I made breakfast and took a shower. He woke up, and I fed him and then he pretty much went right back to sleep.

The rest of our day was me doing laundry, Alan playing outside with Evie, and Megan coming to visit and bringing a huge dish of Macaroni and Cheese. Alana and Evie carved pumpkins, and I tended to Sawyer, and then we ate dinner. It was great to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to make or even plan! What an awesome gift! (also sweet action ice cream delivery to our house is AWESOME!)

Evie and I watched 'Elf' together while Sawyer STILL slept. We woke him up to eat and then he went right back to sleep, unable to be woken up. I am scared for tonight, so I am trying to type fast before I can't sleep. Eive put herself to sleep both for her nap and to bed tonight, so I am a little worried that she is more upset than what she seems. I have GOT TO figure out something that we can do just the three of us.

I have not had to give Sawyer a bottle except for once today, which is good, though I was really sad to have not had my milk come in this morning. I was really hoping. Progressively over the day, I can feel more and more of the ducts getting backed up and am pretty nervous about that. The sides of my breast are hard as a rock and I have taken two hot showers with the water right on them and massaged so much. Hopefully this resolves as soon as the milk gets here...maybe they'll get flushed out? Hopefully tomorrow morning.

So...I will write more reflections on all these events, and fill in details in the near future, but needed to just get this part out, before I forgot even more. Labor...arduous and really tough emotionally. Delivery...AWESOME! And Life from here on out...Wonderful. We four were on the couch tonight together watching a movie and I truly felt like life could not possibly get any better, and that I could not in a million years deserve these three people around me. I fell blessed.

Love to you all,
Mumma (of two,) OUT

It's a gusher

So...I am sitting here after a very interesting day, waiting for contractions to start, since my water broke two hours ago. Let me back up.

Yesterday, I noticed that I started to lose my mucus plug, a little bit at a time. I had my almost 40 week appointment this morning. After telling the doctor that there were no new symptoms, other than the little bits of plug dislodging, but no more contractions, etc. He did a cervical exam and when done said, "well...the good news is that you're going to have a baby, but just not today." He reported that I was not at all dilated, was 0% effaced, but that my cervix was soft. That was all. I left being pretty dejected and in a generally bad mood.

I went in to work and tried to get my mind off of the fact that it could be weeks more...17 days, to be exact, until I was two weeks over and would have to be induced. I left for home, made dinner, ate, and Alan, Evie and I were hanging out in Sawyer's room. I felt like my pelvis kind of hurt, so I got off the floor to sit in the cushy chair, sat down and felt a spurt of warm liquid. I thought I peed myself, though I tried to stop it, and it didn't work. Alan got a towel, thankfully before I got the chair wet. I moved tot he downstairs bathroom and kept trickling. I peed, and emptied my bladder and just sat there for a little bit. More mucous plug. I stood up from the toilet and trickled some more. Evie came in and asked me if I was pottying on the floor (not a good thing for her to see when we're trying to potty train, lol.) I went to the computer to try to look up t he likelihood of having just been assessed as so low on the Bishop's score this morning, but breaking my bag. I stood up from the computer, thinking I was being dumb, and I was just incontinent from coughing so much over the last few days (I've been sick.) Well...I stood up, and gush. Onto the towel I was sitting on. I called the doctor's office and the doctor on call called me back. Dr. Sarinopoulis. So he told me it sounded like I broke my bag and that I should go to the hospital and expect to stay. I said ok and hung up.

I called Jen to come watch Evie and started to get things together. The more I moved around, the more I was convinced that this was me breaking my water, so I had the doctor paged again. I had talked to my doula and told her that they wanted me to go in and that I was concerned that my doctor, MY doctor, Dr. Ehrenberger, had told me I could stay home for 6 hours after my water broke. She told me that I could go in and then ask to be sent home. I heard back from the doctor again and told him I was more certain that I'd ruptured my sac, and that I was reluctant to go in, unless they would be willing to check that it was fluid and then send me home to start labor. He said absolutely not, at which point I let him know that I would not be going in to the hospital, as I REALLY wanted to avoid being induced, and they wounded ready to just go ahead and start induction. He was not amused, but consented to that and wished me luck. Alan and I tucked Evie in, after reading "Big Sister" to her once more, and I got another call from the doctor. He told me that he had just learned that I was group-b strep positive and that he had to advise me to go in to the hospital. I told him that I understood his position, but that I felt comfortable being at home and would go in 6 hours, and they could get me ampicillin then. He caught on that I wasn't rushing in there.

Jen got here and I caught her up to speed. Evie was asleep, so I watched TV with Jen, got some things together, and Alan got the car seats switched and he got packed. And that brings us up to right now. I haven't had any noticeable contractions, so I am getting a little nervous. I know that the longer I wait the more likelihood of infection, so I will abide by the going in around 3 a.m. or so. I am just nervous that they won't give me a chance. We'll have to see what happens in the next few hours, and what my bishop score is when I get to the hospital. At least at that point, they will call Dr. Ehrenberger and we can get on the same page.

Alan is going to take a nap (it's 10:35), Jen and Evie are asleep and I am going to go try to get a little rest. Come out, come out wherever you are, little man. Let the contractions begin!!!

Thank you, Girls

I just wanted to say, "Thank you!" to all of you who planned a sneaky attack of a shower. How smart of you to use the ploy that we were getting together for one of my favorite activities, carving pumpkins! Deftly done! I don't think I will need to buy diapers or wipes for at least 6 months :) Andrea, the food was SO good and all my faves. I love you guys, and am so glad to be bringing another child into the fold of such good sisters. Thanks, again.

Mumma, Alan, Evie and Sawyer V.

More of the same

So...I had my 39 week appointment today, though I am not officially 39 weeks until Friday. It was HIGHLY uneventful. I has mentioned to Dr. E previously, rather in jest, that I didn't know why he'd bother checking for dilation, because it doesn't change things. I think he was listening, since that is almost exactly what he told me today, so no assessment. I am actually happy about that. I was curious, and had a little twinge of disappointment, but got over that quickly. If he doesn't feel like he needs to do one next week, I am down with that as well. For one, you could walk around for weeks several centimeters dilated. On the other hand, he could report that I had no dilation, which would bum me out, and I'd rather not know. I prefer to be hopeful, and just be ready whenever. The good news from the visit is that Dr. Salas-Myers agreed to take over my care if I deliver while Dr. E is out of town. He has already gone over my birthing wishes with her and she has no problems with that.

I just finished reading "Hypnobirthing" and wish that I had taken a class. I am not sure exactly how "deep" I will be able to train myself to go in the next two weeks, but I know I will benefit from at least some of it. There are things in that book that I am not completely sold on, so my approach will be an amalgamation of a few different methods. I am happy that my doula has also read the book, which she did once she learned that I was practicing it. But things like not allowing anyone to come visit unless they are there to do something for us, so as to not disrupt our bonding time, is bunk. Evie is one of the most sociable, loving kids and I am pretty sure I didn't cordon her off to myself, allowing no one to hold her for weeks. I am calling BS on that theory. That being said, I am actually quite happy that no one besides Alan, Lisa (Doula) and myself will be involved in the actual labor and birth. I truly will want to be unconcerned about anyone but us, and getting this guy out as gently and easily as possible. I do intend to keep him skin to skin for as long as they will allow, though. They will have to pry him away from me after he is born. I just want to meet him already!

I am actually doing fine other than the profound lack of sleep. It is a cruel irony that when you are this pregnant, you get crappy sleep, when you most need to stock up on rest! Practice, my ass. I don't need practice at not getting sleep! I need a good night's rest before I get ready to deliver this guy and start caring for him! Another (completely random) observation...How the hell am I supposed to be checking for the passage of this mucus plug? I can't see past my damn abdomen into the toilet. I don't really care to go scanning the bowl post-pee, either. I am going to stick to my current plan of just not wanting to know. If I pass it, it means nothing, anyway. Again...it could be weeks. Now...should I see any show or break my water, I will be a believer, but until then...I am just going to remain pregnant and hopeful. Did I mention that I had several rounds of contractions on Friday, for almost an hour, a bit over 5 minutes apart, but not even close to a minute each and certainly not intensifying...then they stopped, and not a peep since? At least SOMETHING is going on in there. I am fine with whatever happens, though I am really hoping for a spontaneous labor, some time before November 8...but if not, it just means that the little man needs more time to prepare (he will, after all, need to prepare himself to deal with his big sister!)

All else is good...Work has slowed, so I am now just doing preparations for my leave and my return to two new studies. I am now shadowing my replacement, instead of the other way around. Bodily...let's see. My right foot/ankle actually swells more than my left - weird, huh? But neither have gotten any worse as of late, just kind of generally puffy. No swelling in my hands or anywhere else, so that is good. No protein/glucose in urine, great BP, mild backaches, peeing ALL the time, the sleep thing, sporadic sciatica issues, but really not bad. Heartburn...how could I forget? That is one thing that gets pretty old, pretty quick.

I have so much to do still, completing the decoration of Sawyer's room...and I don't know why I am procrastinating! I have to finish his painting and some sewing projects, but I have gotten a few things done off my list. I packed my hospital bag, finally. I finished all the swaddling blankets for him, and I made his first stroller blanket, which came out AWESOME. I really love it. I hope he loves his as much as Evie loves her Blanket (notice, capitalization to denote it being its own entity...) I'll take some pictures of his room, as a few people have asked...but I really can't wait to get some motivation and get it ALL put together.

All right...rambling now, so I guess I had better go. To all of you out there who have recently had your babies come into your world (Beth - June is beautiful!!!) or are anxiously awaiting their arrival...I am thinking of you often. (Sange...stay in bed and Carly, you be a good girl and stay in Momma.) I am really trying to cherish these final days as I know they will be the last I will ever be pregnant. And then we get to meet Sawyer. And introduce him to his big sis and start our life together as four. Love to all, and I will update soon.

Mumma, Out

Seriously...80's again?

Not the 1980's...this is the NOT SO FUN, 80 degrees that is forecast in the next few days. I thought we were done with that. not so much.

Not much to report on my end...just more Braxton-Hicks, which is exciting, and NOVEL. I am almost through my Hypnobirthing book, which I really like, but I am just a little nervous about the lack of practice time I have left. If anything, I guess it will help me relax, even if I can't master self-hypnosis by the time buddy boy comes.

Feet, huge and "jiggly" as pointed out to me today (yeah...I know, they are attached to my legs...it's gross.) Sciatica is flaring a little, but not badly. I only wake up once a night to pee and then right back to sleep. The new pregnancy pillow is the best thing I think I have bought in a long time. I wish I had it for my pregnancy with Evie! If any of you out there are getting big and pregnant, get thyself a snoogle, or boppy prego pillow or similar. Completely worth the money.

My friends at work started a pool, and I guessed 11/7/10, 9 lbs., 1 oz., 22 inches. My new BFF is Halley, ( despite the jiggly-feet observation) coming in earliest at Halloween. If only. I will post more once I see my doctor next week, as that will be my first cervical check. I asked him, kind of rhetorically, "what's the point?" But he didn't answer. What is the point? I am going to go when I go...even if I am dilated two centimeters...it could be weeks. We'll see, I guess.

More to come then.

Mumma, Out

37 and 3/7

seeing it is 10.10.10, I had to post when I was also 37, 3/7 :P
Today is our 6th Anniversary and I loved it. We had the best date, adn Halley and Evie looked like they had a good time together. We got to talk alone about what the plans are, how we have GOT to have a date eralier on this time than we did when Evie was born. I am on love with my husband, and am sure I am going to fall in love again in 3 to 5 weeks, and don't want to lose sight of my first man :)
Let's see...last week's appointment, did I blog after that? I don't know. It went well though. Low blood pressure, swollen ankles/feet, no proteins in urine, measuring right on, and Sawyer all over the place when Dr. E tries to listen. We talked about my plan some more and it just reaffirms that my Doctor rocks. He seriously took the time to read it since I had last been then, summarized it back to me and let me know that it was part of my admission orders. I knew there was a reason we loved him. I also let him know the only thing that worries me is in whose hands I'd be left, if I delivered when he was out of town Nov. 8-11. I asked who was covering for him, and he asked me if I had a preference, which of course I do...Dr. Monica. It was great not to have to tell him, "anyone but Almira Gulch(Dr. Robertson)." He is asking Dr. Monica if she will "babysit" me if he is gone, and will let me know Tuesday. I will have to tell him my preference to not have Dr. R, if Dr. Salas-Myers is not available. I hope she is.

What else? I am group B + again, so more ampicillin, but he assures me that it will only be boluses in 250 cc NaCl, so not tied down to an IV stand, or anything. He was remarkably cool about my plan, and pretty much said that he could catch from any which angle, so I should do what I need to. Again...love him. I have actually had some B-H contractions over the last few days, which is a novel occurance for me. A few of which stopped me in my tracks, so this is a lot better than last time, when nothing was stirring in there until go time. I hate to get my hopes up that maybe he won't be two weeks late, after all. That is the other thing I worry about...I have been preparing and actually practicing relaxation, reading as much as I can, listening to affirmations in the car...really planning to do everything I can to have him naturally...but if I go to 2 weeks, I will need to be induced. I am not against this, as I have read a lot about Post-mature babies, and not sure that I want to do that to him. It does, however, completely alter my wishes, and it would be unlikely that I could do anything differently from how I did before..."tethered" to the bed, hooked up to lots of things, and not being able to cope. If that is what it takes to get him out, at that point, though...so be it. Alan is worried about me and; 1) how bid Sawyer's going to be and can I get him out and 2) how long my labor will be, and can I cope that long? Two really good questions...lol

Let's see...one thing that was not pleasant, and I have to only hope has to do with hormones was my mood yesterday. I would say that this goes was beyond irritable, and to down right angry, and I did not like it. Everything anyone did (including Evie) after about 4:30 p.m. made me so mad. Evie wasn't exactly being an angel, and it DOES put me in a bad mood to be at the track, not participating, but this was something else. I hope it doesn't happen again. I actually found myself apologizing to her for yelling when I calmed down. Not exemplary mommy behaviour. Bad Mommy.

I really organized Sawyer's and Evie's closets this morning and finally stocked up his. His hanging things were already hung up, but I got out all the socks, onesies, little pants and sleep gowns. I guess we are really having a little boy :)

That is about all...have to savor this last bit of our anniversary, so going to cut out for some snuggle time. G'Night to all of you out there.

Mumma

ticking along

Not really much to report that is new, just 36+3 and still preggers. My next appointment is tomorrow, after just having had one on Friday. I keep on feeling twinges in my cervix, but honestly, I think they are just head butts. Every time it happens, I feel my abdomen, and there is no tightening, or anything, so I still have officially not had a braxton-hicks even. This could be a while :)

I think it is starting to sink in to a few people at work that I won't be there soon and that they better hope that this kid stays put until everyone is back from the conference in Boston. What would be ideal is to have Sawyer some time between November 3rd and 7th, but obviously no one has any control over that. I say that for a few reasons, none of which will make it more likely to happen;
1) the lion share of my office is going to be gone between Oct. 28 and Nov. 2, so I seriously have to hold down the fort...41 weeks pregnant. I can say that if that week of covering for people is like my last week, I may just go home and stay home. It was seriously that bad.
2) my sister is coming out the 8th to the 12th, so I hope we have a new person for her to meet, and
3) I just found out on Friday that my doctor will be in Orlando November 8, 9, and 10th. I have to remember to find out who is on call while he is gone. I am seriously contemplating looking into a birthing center, or something if I may get stuck with Dr. Robertson. It would really throw a wrench in the works if it were her. I am just thinking good thoughts...I mean what are the chances that I will have this kid while he is gone (famous last words?)

Let's see what else...we have made some progress in the nesting realm. I got a bit of the owl painting done...the chocolate brown part, now I have to fill in the rest of it, but I LOVE IT so far! It is perfect. I have finished three swaddling blankets and most of the first stroller blanket. So cute! I still have to start the pillows for the glider, the owl mobile and the changing pad cover. I haven't gotten that much done other than weekends, because I am too tired after Evie goes to bed and I just want to go to bed myself. Plus, I have been reading as much as I can each night.

I went back to reading more on natural birth. I am not sure what my strategy is for achieving my goal, but I can tell you that I do not really subscribe to a lot of the things these books talk about like; Reiki or any other "energy work", and I am not adept at yoga breathing, and the whole "mindfullness" thing is lost on me. Maybe I am just not that deep or self-aware, or introspective, or whatever it takes to be down with all that...but I'd like to think I still have it in me to do this, for me and for Sawyer. I am pretty stubborn, but I don't think I can just will my way through labor. I need to learn to let go a little bit more than I have. I can, however, go to my happy place, which seems to be scenes of my life that have already happened, every time I practice. Alan and me on Ke'e beach, Evie laughing, and then of course, images of me with the new little man.

Sandra doesn't sound like she is having much fun either, and I will spare you the details, since they are not mine to tell, but I am 100% convinced when she says this is their last child. I completely understand. I don't know if Beth, from work, has delivered yet, but I am hoping so for her sake...she is overdue by a week. One good thing is that I can just feel the bite in the air every morning...so it rejuvinates me a bit. Of course, by 2pm, it is 82 - 84 fricking degrees outside, but it is coming...I know it is...The first time I NEED to wear a sweater, and I am looking forward to it. I was in a 500% better mood Sunday morning when it was cool. SUPPOSEDLY it is going to be a high of 72 on Wednesday, but I will believe it when I feel it. This coming weekend is supposed to be even cooler, which is great, since we will be at the track. It is Alan's last race of the year, and a bit of a farewell to racing, I think. Not sure what the future holds for either of us as far as racing is concerned, but I can at least go cheer him on. Sunday is our 6th Anniversary, and we are going out, which I am excited about. I miss Alan, as he has had to sleep on the floor still, because of his back. I can only hope this improves soon, since it really makes me lonely to wake up alone. Sure, I hog the bed with me and my belly and my pregnancy pillow, but it would still be nice if he could be in there, too.

What else? No new prego symptoms, since I think I mentioned that my feet are now horrendously swollen all the time, regardless of what I eat or how long I put them up on my makeshift ottoman I've fashioned from my upside down recycling bin and a blanket under my desk. Maybe it will be cold enough next week for compression hose!

Wow...I can't believe for all the griping I did about the size of the chest and lack of bras that I have not already mentioned that I got new bras!!! seven of them, and they are awesome! I wore a white shirt for the first time in three weeks on Friday, since I finally had a nude colored bra that fit. So...I am all set for "normal" bras, but sadly, I just went through all my nursing bras, and there was only one that fit...so I bought another off ebay that is great, and am trying to buy a few more. At least I have people to pass on the ones I have to. And maybe the ones that are just a bit small will fit after I lose some baby weight...but then I will have milk, so who knows.

I must be in the "waiting" boring phase if I can talk about so much nothing going on. The one thing that I have tried to focus on is spending quality one on one time with Evie and letting her know how special she is to us. I am anxious to meet him, but at the same time, I feel sad that I am going to lose my alone time with her, to some extent. I just hope that she will love being a big sister and that it will bring her as much joy as it will to us. Good sign, I guess, that she ASKS for me to read "Big Sister" to her.

That is about all...I am super tired. Thanks to everyone out there who hasn't told me I look ready to pop, tired, or otherwise haggard. I really appreciate it, even if you are just being nice. Will check in after appointment...and please hope along with me that Dr. (Wicked Witch of the West) Robertson is not the one on call when my doctor is gone, or I'll need to do some scrambling to make others plans. That is all. Mumma Out