The Great Con Artist/ The Milkman Cometh

So...things are A LOT better these last four days. I had been trying to continue with the supplementation with formula until my milk came in, but that was going horribly. I think I already explained the vicious cycle that was fighting with him to take formula, burping him every 10 cc, fighting to get more in him...30 - 60 cc later...only to have him spit it all up...and then back to square one since he was hungry again. All that equaling NO SLEEP...and I mean NONE. On Monday morning I called the lactation consultant at Avista and explained what was going on...Of course she said, "oh the poor dear, he's hungry!" and gave me some suggestions. I was to pump after feedings to try to increase my supply and to come in on Thursday for a before and after feeding weight on Sawyer, to see what the issue is. That very afternoon, I started a new routine...Feed him for 10 minutes on each side, have Alan change his diaper while I pump, and then have him drink what I just pumped. He was still VERY bad at drinking from the bottles, but at least he wasn't spitting up what he did get down, and it was breast milk, not formula (which we had just bought a huge canister of.) That night, he woke up a couple times to eat, looked around in his own mellow way, and nodded off to sleep. Alan had gotten up both times to change him while I pumped, and it was working!!!

So...I have kept doing that. I had a few problems trying to pump after every feeding (Evie being awake in the middle of the night so my wing man was occupied...someone peeing all over things so I had to clean up instead of pump) but I was getting more milk out than he was drinking. Yesterday morning, he actually didn't want any of the extra milk that we offered him, which was huge! We had three night in a row with > 6 hours sleep each night, which is awesome. Thursday I went to the lactation consultant at Avista...Nicky. She was the person who helped me so much when I truly wasn't producing enough for Evie. I was instructed to bring Sawyer in hungry. We got there and it was a few minutes before she could see us and he was REALLY hungry, so mission accomplished. She weighed him, and then had me feed him on the right (in a new hold that I wasn't used to but is really great - Cross Cradle) for 15 minutes. He kind of lost interest toward the end of the 15 minutes. She weighed him, and, whereas an average baby would drink 2 oz. in a whole meal, he drank 2 oz. on one side. She immediately scolded him so sweetly for "conning his Mummy into thinking she had no milk." (She's British...) and then put him on the other side, where I had some blocked ducts. Apparently, I never got a chance to get that engorged, "Milk's In" feeling that I got with Evie...the milk was gone from my breasts before I had a chance to notice it was there. At the end of that 15 minutes, she weighed him again. All in all...he ended up eating 3.5 ounces...so almost double an average baby. Glutton! Of course it takes a lot of calories to keep up that physique of his. Everyone talks about the pushing out part of having a 10 lb+ baby, but I think it is clearly the keeping him fed part that is the more difficult! She also commented that he is almost rolling over, so that we have to be very careful to not leave him unattended. Sheesh...what did I give birth to...a two month old?

Last night...plenty of sleep for Mommy and Son and Evie woke up this morning to me giving her a back rub, which always helps to get her up in a good mood. I really wanted to be the one to take her to daycare today, as that had been the routine for so long prior to Sawyer coming. I REALLY wanted to get her there at the time we would usually arrive, but no dice...But I did get her there, and she had NO problem with me leaving, which was so great. We have our meltdowns here and there, but all in all, I think she is starting to become more secure in her role in the family, and knows that she is still our first love. She still really likes Sawyer, and talks to him in the CUTEST voice, ever. Maybe I can get some video and post it. Truly sweet.

Other than all that...his 1 week appointment was Tuesday, which was highly uneventful...he was at 10 lbs. 1 oz. and 22". Got one shot and was out of there. Doing perfectly. Mumma is doing REALLY well. I do wish I could see into the future to be able to tell what of this gut will hang around, and what will just disappear, but I guess I have to be patient and see what lies ahead. I am actually really happy that my feet are both back to their normal shape/size, cankles and lower leg swelling...GONE, and I can wear normal clothes! Yeah, on all fronts! This has been such an easier recovery than after Evie...not that it was that bad then, either, but this is just amazing.

I just have to make note of my husband...I knew when I married him that he wasn't terribly romantic, or verbose, or mushy...but I did know that he is a good, good man, and that I would be in good hands. It turns out, he is also a good, good father. I love him more now than ever, and almost cry when I see him with both of these two kids. Alan, if you ever read this...I love you, and couldn't be more grateful for the life we've built together. 9/5/03...best "yes" I've ever said.

That;s about all from here for a while. Someone is stirring and will surely be hungry when awake :P

Love to all, Mumma Out

Day 5

So...We are OK. Sawyer is completely sweet and inquisitive, not at all cranky, though ENTIRELY NOCTURNAL...I mean, just unreal. Evie has been acting out a lot, so I am a bit stressed about that. Alan has been able to spend some good one-on-one time with her, but not so much me. She just seems really angry :( I made the choice to go trick-or-treating together, since I think she really needed some attention just on her from both of us. She did so well, I was really proud, but I had to cut it short and almost run home since all of a sudden Sawyer woke up hungry and screaming.

My milk STILL has not really come in, so I am really bummed about that. If it was going to, it should have come in by now. I am still supplementing him with formula, which he does not tolerate at all. I just went and got a new type, so maybe he'll do better with that...but it is really frustrating to nurse him for 20-25 minutes in the middle of the night...he is still hungry, give him formula, and just when he's about to nod off, the hiccups start, and up comes all the formula and who knows how much of the breast milk, and we are back to square one, with his tummy empty, and now I have no milk. I have had mini-meltdowns twice at around 6:00 the last two days because I am just SO tired and feel badly for him, and Evie is waking up, and I can't give her the attention she needs, and the milk thing really gets to me. That is about the time of day when your hormones are REALLY high, so I chalk it up to that, but still...I gotta get more sleep and figure out this nursing/formula thing. I am not really worried about this being Post-partum depression (during the day, I am myself)...I just think this is a LOT harder than the first time around. I am older, Evie needs her love, too, and he is just not as easy as she was. She ate, looked at you for a bit and went to sleep...middle of the night feedings...20 minutes, burp and bed...even by 5 days old. He really is a love and I am at least lucky that when he and I are up for hours on end overnight, he is just looking at me, cooing, etc. I am so in love. He is not an easy baby, but sure worth the work.

I will go back and fill-in the rest of the birthing experience, but after a nap :)

Mumma, Out