Day 5

So...We are OK. Sawyer is completely sweet and inquisitive, not at all cranky, though ENTIRELY NOCTURNAL...I mean, just unreal. Evie has been acting out a lot, so I am a bit stressed about that. Alan has been able to spend some good one-on-one time with her, but not so much me. She just seems really angry :( I made the choice to go trick-or-treating together, since I think she really needed some attention just on her from both of us. She did so well, I was really proud, but I had to cut it short and almost run home since all of a sudden Sawyer woke up hungry and screaming.

My milk STILL has not really come in, so I am really bummed about that. If it was going to, it should have come in by now. I am still supplementing him with formula, which he does not tolerate at all. I just went and got a new type, so maybe he'll do better with that...but it is really frustrating to nurse him for 20-25 minutes in the middle of the night...he is still hungry, give him formula, and just when he's about to nod off, the hiccups start, and up comes all the formula and who knows how much of the breast milk, and we are back to square one, with his tummy empty, and now I have no milk. I have had mini-meltdowns twice at around 6:00 the last two days because I am just SO tired and feel badly for him, and Evie is waking up, and I can't give her the attention she needs, and the milk thing really gets to me. That is about the time of day when your hormones are REALLY high, so I chalk it up to that, but still...I gotta get more sleep and figure out this nursing/formula thing. I am not really worried about this being Post-partum depression (during the day, I am myself)...I just think this is a LOT harder than the first time around. I am older, Evie needs her love, too, and he is just not as easy as she was. She ate, looked at you for a bit and went to sleep...middle of the night feedings...20 minutes, burp and bed...even by 5 days old. He really is a love and I am at least lucky that when he and I are up for hours on end overnight, he is just looking at me, cooing, etc. I am so in love. He is not an easy baby, but sure worth the work.

I will go back and fill-in the rest of the birthing experience, but after a nap :)

Mumma, Out