So...things are A LOT better these last four days. I had been trying to continue with the supplementation with formula until my milk came in, but that was going horribly. I think I already explained the vicious cycle that was fighting with him to take formula, burping him every 10 cc, fighting to get more in him...30 - 60 cc later...only to have him spit it all up...and then back to square one since he was hungry again. All that equaling NO SLEEP...and I mean NONE. On Monday morning I called the lactation consultant at Avista and explained what was going on...Of course she said, "oh the poor dear, he's hungry!" and gave me some suggestions. I was to pump after feedings to try to increase my supply and to come in on Thursday for a before and after feeding weight on Sawyer, to see what the issue is. That very afternoon, I started a new routine...Feed him for 10 minutes on each side, have Alan change his diaper while I pump, and then have him drink what I just pumped. He was still VERY bad at drinking from the bottles, but at least he wasn't spitting up what he did get down, and it was breast milk, not formula (which we had just bought a huge canister of.) That night, he woke up a couple times to eat, looked around in his own mellow way, and nodded off to sleep. Alan had gotten up both times to change him while I pumped, and it was working!!!
So...I have kept doing that. I had a few problems trying to pump after every feeding (Evie being awake in the middle of the night so my wing man was occupied...someone peeing all over things so I had to clean up instead of pump) but I was getting more milk out than he was drinking. Yesterday morning, he actually didn't want any of the extra milk that we offered him, which was huge! We had three night in a row with > 6 hours sleep each night, which is awesome. Thursday I went to the lactation consultant at Avista...Nicky. She was the person who helped me so much when I truly wasn't producing enough for Evie. I was instructed to bring Sawyer in hungry. We got there and it was a few minutes before she could see us and he was REALLY hungry, so mission accomplished. She weighed him, and then had me feed him on the right (in a new hold that I wasn't used to but is really great - Cross Cradle) for 15 minutes. He kind of lost interest toward the end of the 15 minutes. She weighed him, and, whereas an average baby would drink 2 oz. in a whole meal, he drank 2 oz. on one side. She immediately scolded him so sweetly for "conning his Mummy into thinking she had no milk." (She's British...) and then put him on the other side, where I had some blocked ducts. Apparently, I never got a chance to get that engorged, "Milk's In" feeling that I got with Evie...the milk was gone from my breasts before I had a chance to notice it was there. At the end of that 15 minutes, she weighed him again. All in all...he ended up eating 3.5 ounces...so almost double an average baby. Glutton! Of course it takes a lot of calories to keep up that physique of his. Everyone talks about the pushing out part of having a 10 lb+ baby, but I think it is clearly the keeping him fed part that is the more difficult! She also commented that he is almost rolling over, so that we have to be very careful to not leave him unattended. Sheesh...what did I give birth to...a two month old?
Last night...plenty of sleep for Mommy and Son and Evie woke up this morning to me giving her a back rub, which always helps to get her up in a good mood. I really wanted to be the one to take her to daycare today, as that had been the routine for so long prior to Sawyer coming. I REALLY wanted to get her there at the time we would usually arrive, but no dice...But I did get her there, and she had NO problem with me leaving, which was so great. We have our meltdowns here and there, but all in all, I think she is starting to become more secure in her role in the family, and knows that she is still our first love. She still really likes Sawyer, and talks to him in the CUTEST voice, ever. Maybe I can get some video and post it. Truly sweet.
Other than all that...his 1 week appointment was Tuesday, which was highly uneventful...he was at 10 lbs. 1 oz. and 22". Got one shot and was out of there. Doing perfectly. Mumma is doing REALLY well. I do wish I could see into the future to be able to tell what of this gut will hang around, and what will just disappear, but I guess I have to be patient and see what lies ahead. I am actually really happy that my feet are both back to their normal shape/size, cankles and lower leg swelling...GONE, and I can wear normal clothes! Yeah, on all fronts! This has been such an easier recovery than after Evie...not that it was that bad then, either, but this is just amazing.
I just have to make note of my husband...I knew when I married him that he wasn't terribly romantic, or verbose, or mushy...but I did know that he is a good, good man, and that I would be in good hands. It turns out, he is also a good, good father. I love him more now than ever, and almost cry when I see him with both of these two kids. Alan, if you ever read this...I love you, and couldn't be more grateful for the life we've built together. 9/5/03...best "yes" I've ever said.
That;s about all from here for a while. Someone is stirring and will surely be hungry when awake :P
Love to all, Mumma Out
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Day 5
So...We are OK. Sawyer is completely sweet and inquisitive, not at all cranky, though ENTIRELY NOCTURNAL...I mean, just unreal. Evie has been acting out a lot, so I am a bit stressed about that. Alan has been able to spend some good one-on-one time with her, but not so much me. She just seems really angry :( I made the choice to go trick-or-treating together, since I think she really needed some attention just on her from both of us. She did so well, I was really proud, but I had to cut it short and almost run home since all of a sudden Sawyer woke up hungry and screaming.
My milk STILL has not really come in, so I am really bummed about that. If it was going to, it should have come in by now. I am still supplementing him with formula, which he does not tolerate at all. I just went and got a new type, so maybe he'll do better with that...but it is really frustrating to nurse him for 20-25 minutes in the middle of the night...he is still hungry, give him formula, and just when he's about to nod off, the hiccups start, and up comes all the formula and who knows how much of the breast milk, and we are back to square one, with his tummy empty, and now I have no milk. I have had mini-meltdowns twice at around 6:00 the last two days because I am just SO tired and feel badly for him, and Evie is waking up, and I can't give her the attention she needs, and the milk thing really gets to me. That is about the time of day when your hormones are REALLY high, so I chalk it up to that, but still...I gotta get more sleep and figure out this nursing/formula thing. I am not really worried about this being Post-partum depression (during the day, I am myself)...I just think this is a LOT harder than the first time around. I am older, Evie needs her love, too, and he is just not as easy as she was. She ate, looked at you for a bit and went to sleep...middle of the night feedings...20 minutes, burp and bed...even by 5 days old. He really is a love and I am at least lucky that when he and I are up for hours on end overnight, he is just looking at me, cooing, etc. I am so in love. He is not an easy baby, but sure worth the work.
I will go back and fill-in the rest of the birthing experience, but after a nap :)
Mumma, Out
My milk STILL has not really come in, so I am really bummed about that. If it was going to, it should have come in by now. I am still supplementing him with formula, which he does not tolerate at all. I just went and got a new type, so maybe he'll do better with that...but it is really frustrating to nurse him for 20-25 minutes in the middle of the night...he is still hungry, give him formula, and just when he's about to nod off, the hiccups start, and up comes all the formula and who knows how much of the breast milk, and we are back to square one, with his tummy empty, and now I have no milk. I have had mini-meltdowns twice at around 6:00 the last two days because I am just SO tired and feel badly for him, and Evie is waking up, and I can't give her the attention she needs, and the milk thing really gets to me. That is about the time of day when your hormones are REALLY high, so I chalk it up to that, but still...I gotta get more sleep and figure out this nursing/formula thing. I am not really worried about this being Post-partum depression (during the day, I am myself)...I just think this is a LOT harder than the first time around. I am older, Evie needs her love, too, and he is just not as easy as she was. She ate, looked at you for a bit and went to sleep...middle of the night feedings...20 minutes, burp and bed...even by 5 days old. He really is a love and I am at least lucky that when he and I are up for hours on end overnight, he is just looking at me, cooing, etc. I am so in love. He is not an easy baby, but sure worth the work.
I will go back and fill-in the rest of the birthing experience, but after a nap :)
Mumma, Out
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Marathon
So...where did we leave off? 10:35 p.m.? OK
I was able to sleep from about 12:00 midnight to 1:00 a.m., at which point I really started to get my stuff together, and woke Alan up. There was certainly no doubt at this point that the membranes had ruptured and at about 1:00, I was sure that I was having consistent contractions...far apart, but consistent and not comfortable. We got packed up, I tried to find something comfy to wear, since I had gone through 4 pairs of paints by then, and found some towels for the road. I was feeling really excited and optimistic.
We arrived at the hospital around 2:30 and they admitted me after confirming that the fluid was amniotic. They got us settled in a room, and my nurse, Heather, came in to get a history and baseline strip on me and Sawyer, and another nurse came in to start an IV, so they could get me on the Ampicillin for the GBS. The nurse missed my IV placement, and then finally got one to feed and started the antibiotics. The strip confirmed that I was in labor and that Sawyer was perfectly happy. No pelvic exam at that point, so I was to wait until my doctor came in the morning. I called my doula and told her we were settled, and that I would call her as we progressed. She said that if I had not heard from her by 6, to call her.
So...I was pretty comfortable, Alan and I took a spin around the floor (I didn't have the constant monitoring or IV fluids) and kind of hung out in the room. I could not sleep, and Alan got a little sleep. By around 5:00, I was thinking I would need some support from my doula before long, so I called her, but she was already almost there. She couldn't get back to sleep and figured that if I had called her in the first place, I probably couldn't wait until 6:00, which was actually the case. My contractions had started to get stronger, although not really closer together. O could manage them by just thinking elsewhere and breathing, but they definitely started to get a bit ouchy.
Lisa got there and we took another walk around, not so quickly this time, and I had to get back to the room do they could get another strip and a dose of Ampicillin (q. 4 h.) so we headed back. From here on out, time is lost on me, except for certain times and the sequence of events is fuzzy, but I will do my best. I was starting to get more intense contractions, so I got in the shower, and put the sprayer right on my back, which really helped me through. I was in there for a LONG time. Whenever I used the spray head, it almost seemed like I wasn't feeling any pain. I got out and my doctor came in between 7:00 and 8:00. I think this is when I was 4 cm, 50% effaced and soft, though Sawyer was still not engaged. I was really encouraged.
With this type of progress, I felt really good about the prospect that I could make it through this time without drugs. almost 1/2 way there, and not too bad. I started using the birthing ball a lot, went in the spa tub, but that didn't actually help me as much as the shower, so we headed back. It was time for another dose of Ampicillin and a strip. I think it was around 10:00 and I had gotten to 6 cm, I think. I was still 4 to 5 minutes apart, lasting less than a minute. I labored some more in the shower, which still helped, but not as much. They checked again and I was at 7cm around 11:00 or so. I was really hapy that I had progressed, but had hoped for a bit more. At this point, the surges were getting pretty intense, and I was doing my best to cope. I had another check shortly after and was still at 7cm. At that point, I laid in bed for a bit, and the pain parted to get better. I stayed there for a while, as I was thinking that I somehow was just coping better in that position...Not really... My doctor came back to check me and I hadn't budged a bit and my contractions were slowing. It was at this point (maybe at 2:00 ?) that he told me he was going to give me a bit longer to get these contractions going again, or we'd have to consider pitocin. The nurses and doula were having me walk, bounce (horribly painful) and sway. Anything to try to get something started. I had barely been coping with the pain approaching this point, and this thing of TRYING to make it more intense was awful. It was working, but horrible to get through. My contractions were getting closer together and more severe, but when that hour was up, and my doctor came back in to check me, I hadn't budged at all and Sawyer was actually even higher up than he had been before. That was at around 4:00. I panicked a bit. I told Alan, my Doula and nurse that I did not think I could handle augmented labor. The nurse told me, "Oh, you'll only be given a whiff of Pitocin, it won't be that bad," My Doula said, "you've come this far some well, I KNOW you can do this, and know you'll do what's best for your baby," and Alan just tried to play Devil's Advocate. I was pretty upset and certainly scared. I KNOW what trying to go through augmented labor is like with out pain relief. THAT is WHY I was scared. I had done so well, but just couldn't bear the thought of handling those jagged contractions so hard and often. I told my doula and Alan that I did not want to do that. My doula gave me time alone with Alan and I told him I was done. I had come this far, but it was not all for nothing. I wanted to get the epidural and get this finished and have our son. He told my doula, who immediately seemed deflated. She went out to the desk to tell my nurse and doctor and they were actually thankful that I had made that decision and wasn't going to try to go through Pitocin without drugs. I wanted it done RIGHT THEN, though, now that I made the decision. I made them promise no one would come near me with Pitocin without the Epidural in place...they complied. I had three sets of contractions before the Epidural was in place (the anesthesiologist was a total jerk, but I choose to forget about him) and it was not soon enough! My back had started to really be in pain, switching from right to left side, which I could only guess was Sawyer's legs lodged above where the epidural had effect. The contractions were better, but that back pain, yikes. They started to Pitocin at 4:30-ish, then I finally got to a position where that back pain was also alleviated, and I went to sleep.
I dozed in and out, and heard them keep coming in to up the Pitocin, as not much was happening. I did get to 8cm rather easily, but after that...it was slow going. The back pain started to come back and I was exhausted. I heard, at around 10:00 them tell me that I had been put on the maximum dose of Pitocin and that they figured out that my IV had not been hooked up to the drip for some time, but that they had just reattached me and started over again. I was too tired to be irate, and zoned out again. All this time, my doctor was checking me often and I had only gotten to 9 cm when they had restarted the drip...by 11:00 p.m., I was at 9.5 and almost 90% effaced, but Sawyer was not at zero station yet. 11:30 (already back up to max. dose of Pitocin) my doctor came in, and I had not progressed at all. He had an idea, that if I just tried to push once to see if I could get Sawyer past that lip of cervix, then he would advise delivering, but if not, we'd have to wait. I should point out that the rush to get me delivered all day stemmed from me breaking my waters at 7:30 p.m. the night before. We were now well beyond the 24 hours they were comfortable with and I was getting nervous that they were going to suggest a c-section, and truthfully, I was just spent. I was nervouse that I would have another 1.75 pushing session like with Evie, not be able to get him out, and that they'd have to go in and get him. I was all for the "test push" idea. I pushed with my next contraction and lucking Sawyer glided right past my Cervix and down far enough that my doc could see his head. He told me to take a small rest and that he'd be in and we'd get this baby out. I rested for the next 20 minutes and then right before midnight I started to push.
I pushed three times in my first set of contractions and got Sawyer close to crowning. The next set had him crowning. I skipped a set that weren't that strong (I could feel really well this time...could feel the contractions, could feel him moving through the canal, it was great) and then on the next, asked if I could push. They told me to go ahead, and with the first push, I got his head out. I expected his body to just come out, but it didn't. They told me to push,
even though there were no contractions, so I did...his upper body started to come. There were comments as to how long he was, and how big...push again...and with my doctor's help...he was out. I could NOT believe it. 12:20 a.m. I had my boy. They got him right to my chest (apparently he had more cord than they had ever seen) and I just marveled at this guy. The oohs and Aahs were all around, how big he was, how easy that was, etc. Alan cut the cord and came over with me to meet the little man. He cried and then calmed right down. He latched on to my breast so well and we were right then Mother and Son. I held him there for a nice long time, and then the curiosity got the better of me and I let them take him to the scale. We had all made guesses, but he exceeded them all. 10 lbs., 4 oz, and 21 and 3/4 inches. OK...that is big. I delivered the placenta without trouble and waited for my doctor to tell me I had torn, which I hadn't felt, but just assumed. I had not...no stitches, just a bruise and swelling. Wow, I thought, this was inc
redible! I was so happy and proud and satisfied, I told my doula that I knew right then that I'd never regret however I got to this point. We took pictures, and everyone cleared out. We texted some family and close friends a picture and his stats. It was crazy how many people must have been waiting for that because the calls and texts started pouring in. I was on cloud nine, and could NOT believe how well I felt. I nursed him more and was so happy.
Around 1:00 a.m., They got me my dinner while a nurse took Sawyer to do his bath and screening. While he was gone, they did his 1 hour Blood Glucose. It was 35 (should be over 45) so they informed me that he HAD to get supplementation and they'd recheck him in 1 hour. The nurse fed him some formula and then left him with us. They came back, and his BG was 53, so they told me they'd not have to give him glucose, but that until my milk came in, I'd have to keep supplementing him with formula, which I was not happy about, but was OK with, for his sake. I fed him again, and we fell asleep for almost 5 hours! we woke up and got breakfast and just got to know our man. He was doing well, and I was really doing great...able to get around no problem, and really quite comfortable. The only thing troubling was that my breast seemed to have already developed a blocked duct, which was in the back of my mind as a bummer.
Eventually, Alan left to go pick up Evie and I got some alone time with Sawyer. It was wonderful. Just before dinner, Alan came back with Evie. That was one of the best times of my life. She came in, tentatively at first, and then saw me and Sawyer and was beaming. "Baby?!", she said. And climbed right up to meet him. She was SO sweet and somehow seemed to know that THIS was the baby we'd been talking about for so long. It was awesome! We all ordered dinner and ate our first meal together as a family, watching Jeopardy and Wheel, as we do every night, but in the hospital room instead of at the kitchen table, this time. Evie then started to be a 2.5 year old, and Alan took her home. I was alone again with Sawyer and had the nicest nurse some in and check on us every so often and just chat. I again got a lot of sleep, as Sawyer jus
t ate then went back to sleep. What a nice night. The next morning, I ate breakfast and waited for my doctor to come do Sawyer's Circumcision, which was to be around 11:00. Alan had to take Evie to daycare and go in to work for a bit and got there around 11:30, just as they were bringing Sawyer back from getting snipped. They wanted us to wait an hour before leaving to check his site, so we ordered lunch and ate together and got packed up. The nurse went through everything with us and we got to leave! We walked out to a beautiful, windy warm day, much like the day we brought Evie home.
We got home around 1:30 and it felt great to be home. Sawyer ate (breast and bottle) and went to sleep for a while and we got settled in. Alan went to get Evie and got home around 6:00, at which point I was getting sleepy. I made some dinner, and we went to sleep around 8:00, right after Evie (who still was LOVING the baby.) Woke up around 10:30 with him, fed him, changed diaper and clothes, and then tried to get him to go back to bed. No Dice. He spit up, cried was hungry again, had dirty diapers and was all around cranky until I breast fed him again and topped him off with formula t 2:30! We did get to sleep until around 8:00, when Evie woke me up. I felt awful...I snapped at her because she busted in my room and was so loud. I said, Get out, Evie," and she broke out crying. I was up and soothing her at that point and felt the worst guilt. Sawyer was still asleep, and I made breakfast and took a shower. He woke up, and I fed him and then he pretty much went right back to sleep.
The rest of our day was me doing laundry, Alan playing outside with Evie, and Megan coming to visit and bringing a huge dish of Macaroni and Cheese. Alana and Evie carved pumpkins, and I tended to Sawyer, and then we ate dinner. It was great to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to make or even plan! What an awesome gift! (also sweet action ice cream delivery to our house is AWESOME!)
Evie and I watched 'Elf' together while Sawyer STILL slept. We woke him up to eat and then he went right back to sleep, unable to be woken up. I am scared for tonight, so I am trying to type fast before I can't sleep. Eive put herself to sleep both for her nap and to bed tonight, so I am a little worried that she is more upset than what she seems. I have GOT TO figure out something that we can do just the three of us.
I have not had to give Sawyer a bottle except for once today, which is good, though I was really sad to have not had my milk come in this morning. I was really hoping. Progressively over the day, I can feel more and more of the ducts getting backed up and am pretty nervous about that. The sides of my breast are hard as a rock and I have taken two hot showers with the water right on them and massaged so much. Hopefully this resolves as soon as the milk gets here...maybe they'll get flushed out? Hopefully tomorrow morning.
So...I will write more reflections on all these events, and fill in details in the near future, but needed to just get this part out, before I forgot even more. Labor...arduous and really tough emotionally. Delivery...AWESOME! And Life from here on out...Wonderful. We four were on the couch tonight together watching a movie and I truly felt like life could not possibly get any better, and that I could not in a million years deserve these three people around me. I fell blessed.
Love to you all,
Mumma (of two,) OUT
I was able to sleep from about 12:00 midnight to 1:00 a.m., at which point I really started to get my stuff together, and woke Alan up. There was certainly no doubt at this point that the membranes had ruptured and at about 1:00, I was sure that I was having consistent contractions...far apart, but consistent and not comfortable. We got packed up, I tried to find something comfy to wear, since I had gone through 4 pairs of paints by then, and found some towels for the road. I was feeling really excited and optimistic.
We arrived at the hospital around 2:30 and they admitted me after confirming that the fluid was amniotic. They got us settled in a room, and my nurse, Heather, came in to get a history and baseline strip on me and Sawyer, and another nurse came in to start an IV, so they could get me on the Ampicillin for the GBS. The nurse missed my IV placement, and then finally got one to feed and started the antibiotics. The strip confirmed that I was in labor and that Sawyer was perfectly happy. No pelvic exam at that point, so I was to wait until my doctor came in the morning. I called my doula and told her we were settled, and that I would call her as we progressed. She said that if I had not heard from her by 6, to call her.
So...I was pretty comfortable, Alan and I took a spin around the floor (I didn't have the constant monitoring or IV fluids) and kind of hung out in the room. I could not sleep, and Alan got a little sleep. By around 5:00, I was thinking I would need some support from my doula before long, so I called her, but she was already almost there. She couldn't get back to sleep and figured that if I had called her in the first place, I probably couldn't wait until 6:00, which was actually the case. My contractions had started to get stronger, although not really closer together. O could manage them by just thinking elsewhere and breathing, but they definitely started to get a bit ouchy.
Lisa got there and we took another walk around, not so quickly this time, and I had to get back to the room do they could get another strip and a dose of Ampicillin (q. 4 h.) so we headed back. From here on out, time is lost on me, except for certain times and the sequence of events is fuzzy, but I will do my best. I was starting to get more intense contractions, so I got in the shower, and put the sprayer right on my back, which really helped me through. I was in there for a LONG time. Whenever I used the spray head, it almost seemed like I wasn't feeling any pain. I got out and my doctor came in between 7:00 and 8:00. I think this is when I was 4 cm, 50% effaced and soft, though Sawyer was still not engaged. I was really encouraged.
With this type of progress, I felt really good about the prospect that I could make it through this time without drugs. almost 1/2 way there, and not too bad. I started using the birthing ball a lot, went in the spa tub, but that didn't actually help me as much as the shower, so we headed back. It was time for another dose of Ampicillin and a strip. I think it was around 10:00 and I had gotten to 6 cm, I think. I was still 4 to 5 minutes apart, lasting less than a minute. I labored some more in the shower, which still helped, but not as much. They checked again and I was at 7cm around 11:00 or so. I was really hapy that I had progressed, but had hoped for a bit more. At this point, the surges were getting pretty intense, and I was doing my best to cope. I had another check shortly after and was still at 7cm. At that point, I laid in bed for a bit, and the pain parted to get better. I stayed there for a while, as I was thinking that I somehow was just coping better in that position...Not really... My doctor came back to check me and I hadn't budged a bit and my contractions were slowing. It was at this point (maybe at 2:00 ?) that he told me he was going to give me a bit longer to get these contractions going again, or we'd have to consider pitocin. The nurses and doula were having me walk, bounce (horribly painful) and sway. Anything to try to get something started. I had barely been coping with the pain approaching this point, and this thing of TRYING to make it more intense was awful. It was working, but horrible to get through. My contractions were getting closer together and more severe, but when that hour was up, and my doctor came back in to check me, I hadn't budged at all and Sawyer was actually even higher up than he had been before. That was at around 4:00. I panicked a bit. I told Alan, my Doula and nurse that I did not think I could handle augmented labor. The nurse told me, "Oh, you'll only be given a whiff of Pitocin, it won't be that bad," My Doula said, "you've come this far some well, I KNOW you can do this, and know you'll do what's best for your baby," and Alan just tried to play Devil's Advocate. I was pretty upset and certainly scared. I KNOW what trying to go through augmented labor is like with out pain relief. THAT is WHY I was scared. I had done so well, but just couldn't bear the thought of handling those jagged contractions so hard and often. I told my doula and Alan that I did not want to do that. My doula gave me time alone with Alan and I told him I was done. I had come this far, but it was not all for nothing. I wanted to get the epidural and get this finished and have our son. He told my doula, who immediately seemed deflated. She went out to the desk to tell my nurse and doctor and they were actually thankful that I had made that decision and wasn't going to try to go through Pitocin without drugs. I wanted it done RIGHT THEN, though, now that I made the decision. I made them promise no one would come near me with Pitocin without the Epidural in place...they complied. I had three sets of contractions before the Epidural was in place (the anesthesiologist was a total jerk, but I choose to forget about him) and it was not soon enough! My back had started to really be in pain, switching from right to left side, which I could only guess was Sawyer's legs lodged above where the epidural had effect. The contractions were better, but that back pain, yikes. They started to Pitocin at 4:30-ish, then I finally got to a position where that back pain was also alleviated, and I went to sleep.
I dozed in and out, and heard them keep coming in to up the Pitocin, as not much was happening. I did get to 8cm rather easily, but after that...it was slow going. The back pain started to come back and I was exhausted. I heard, at around 10:00 them tell me that I had been put on the maximum dose of Pitocin and that they figured out that my IV had not been hooked up to the drip for some time, but that they had just reattached me and started over again. I was too tired to be irate, and zoned out again. All this time, my doctor was checking me often and I had only gotten to 9 cm when they had restarted the drip...by 11:00 p.m., I was at 9.5 and almost 90% effaced, but Sawyer was not at zero station yet. 11:30 (already back up to max. dose of Pitocin) my doctor came in, and I had not progressed at all. He had an idea, that if I just tried to push once to see if I could get Sawyer past that lip of cervix, then he would advise delivering, but if not, we'd have to wait. I should point out that the rush to get me delivered all day stemmed from me breaking my waters at 7:30 p.m. the night before. We were now well beyond the 24 hours they were comfortable with and I was getting nervous that they were going to suggest a c-section, and truthfully, I was just spent. I was nervouse that I would have another 1.75 pushing session like with Evie, not be able to get him out, and that they'd have to go in and get him. I was all for the "test push" idea. I pushed with my next contraction and lucking Sawyer glided right past my Cervix and down far enough that my doc could see his head. He told me to take a small rest and that he'd be in and we'd get this baby out. I rested for the next 20 minutes and then right before midnight I started to push.
I pushed three times in my first set of contractions and got Sawyer close to crowning. The next set had him crowning. I skipped a set that weren't that strong (I could feel really well this time...could feel the contractions, could feel him moving through the canal, it was great) and then on the next, asked if I could push. They told me to go ahead, and with the first push, I got his head out. I expected his body to just come out, but it didn't. They told me to push,
even though there were no contractions, so I did...his upper body started to come. There were comments as to how long he was, and how big...push again...and with my doctor's help...he was out. I could NOT believe it. 12:20 a.m. I had my boy. They got him right to my chest (apparently he had more cord than they had ever seen) and I just marveled at this guy. The oohs and Aahs were all around, how big he was, how easy that was, etc. Alan cut the cord and came over with me to meet the little man. He cried and then calmed right down. He latched on to my breast so well and we were right then Mother and Son. I held him there for a nice long time, and then the curiosity got the better of me and I let them take him to the scale. We had all made guesses, but he exceeded them all. 10 lbs., 4 oz, and 21 and 3/4 inches. OK...that is big. I delivered the placenta without trouble and waited for my doctor to tell me I had torn, which I hadn't felt, but just assumed. I had not...no stitches, just a bruise and swelling. Wow, I thought, this was inc
redible! I was so happy and proud and satisfied, I told my doula that I knew right then that I'd never regret however I got to this point. We took pictures, and everyone cleared out. We texted some family and close friends a picture and his stats. It was crazy how many people must have been waiting for that because the calls and texts started pouring in. I was on cloud nine, and could NOT believe how well I felt. I nursed him more and was so happy.Around 1:00 a.m., They got me my dinner while a nurse took Sawyer to do his bath and screening. While he was gone, they did his 1 hour Blood Glucose. It was 35 (should be over 45) so they informed me that he HAD to get supplementation and they'd recheck him in 1 hour. The nurse fed him some formula and then left him with us. They came back, and his BG was 53, so they told me they'd not have to give him glucose, but that until my milk came in, I'd have to keep supplementing him with formula, which I was not happy about, but was OK with, for his sake. I fed him again, and we fell asleep for almost 5 hours! we woke up and got breakfast and just got to know our man. He was doing well, and I was really doing great...able to get around no problem, and really quite comfortable. The only thing troubling was that my breast seemed to have already developed a blocked duct, which was in the back of my mind as a bummer.
Eventually, Alan left to go pick up Evie and I got some alone time with Sawyer. It was wonderful. Just before dinner, Alan came back with Evie. That was one of the best times of my life. She came in, tentatively at first, and then saw me and Sawyer and was beaming. "Baby?!", she said. And climbed right up to meet him. She was SO sweet and somehow seemed to know that THIS was the baby we'd been talking about for so long. It was awesome! We all ordered dinner and ate our first meal together as a family, watching Jeopardy and Wheel, as we do every night, but in the hospital room instead of at the kitchen table, this time. Evie then started to be a 2.5 year old, and Alan took her home. I was alone again with Sawyer and had the nicest nurse some in and check on us every so often and just chat. I again got a lot of sleep, as Sawyer jus
t ate then went back to sleep. What a nice night. The next morning, I ate breakfast and waited for my doctor to come do Sawyer's Circumcision, which was to be around 11:00. Alan had to take Evie to daycare and go in to work for a bit and got there around 11:30, just as they were bringing Sawyer back from getting snipped. They wanted us to wait an hour before leaving to check his site, so we ordered lunch and ate together and got packed up. The nurse went through everything with us and we got to leave! We walked out to a beautiful, windy warm day, much like the day we brought Evie home.We got home around 1:30 and it felt great to be home. Sawyer ate (breast and bottle) and went to sleep for a while and we got settled in. Alan went to get Evie and got home around 6:00, at which point I was getting sleepy. I made some dinner, and we went to sleep around 8:00, right after Evie (who still was LOVING the baby.) Woke up around 10:30 with him, fed him, changed diaper and clothes, and then tried to get him to go back to bed. No Dice. He spit up, cried was hungry again, had dirty diapers and was all around cranky until I breast fed him again and topped him off with formula t 2:30! We did get to sleep until around 8:00, when Evie woke me up. I felt awful...I snapped at her because she busted in my room and was so loud. I said, Get out, Evie," and she broke out crying. I was up and soothing her at that point and felt the worst guilt. Sawyer was still asleep, and I made breakfast and took a shower. He woke up, and I fed him and then he pretty much went right back to sleep.
The rest of our day was me doing laundry, Alan playing outside with Evie, and Megan coming to visit and bringing a huge dish of Macaroni and Cheese. Alana and Evie carved pumpkins, and I tended to Sawyer, and then we ate dinner. It was great to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to make or even plan! What an awesome gift! (also sweet action ice cream delivery to our house is AWESOME!)
Evie and I watched 'Elf' together while Sawyer STILL slept. We woke him up to eat and then he went right back to sleep, unable to be woken up. I am scared for tonight, so I am trying to type fast before I can't sleep. Eive put herself to sleep both for her nap and to bed tonight, so I am a little worried that she is more upset than what she seems. I have GOT TO figure out something that we can do just the three of us.
I have not had to give Sawyer a bottle except for once today, which is good, though I was really sad to have not had my milk come in this morning. I was really hoping. Progressively over the day, I can feel more and more of the ducts getting backed up and am pretty nervous about that. The sides of my breast are hard as a rock and I have taken two hot showers with the water right on them and massaged so much. Hopefully this resolves as soon as the milk gets here...maybe they'll get flushed out? Hopefully tomorrow morning.
So...I will write more reflections on all these events, and fill in details in the near future, but needed to just get this part out, before I forgot even more. Labor...arduous and really tough emotionally. Delivery...AWESOME! And Life from here on out...Wonderful. We four were on the couch tonight together watching a movie and I truly felt like life could not possibly get any better, and that I could not in a million years deserve these three people around me. I fell blessed.
Love to you all,
Mumma (of two,) OUT
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
It's a gusher
So...I am sitting here after a very interesting day, waiting for contractions to start, since my water broke two hours ago. Let me back up.
Yesterday, I noticed that I started to lose my mucus plug, a little bit at a time. I had my almost 40 week appointment this morning. After telling the doctor that there were no new symptoms, other than the little bits of plug dislodging, but no more contractions, etc. He did a cervical exam and when done said, "well...the good news is that you're going to have a baby, but just not today." He reported that I was not at all dilated, was 0% effaced, but that my cervix was soft. That was all. I left being pretty dejected and in a generally bad mood.
I went in to work and tried to get my mind off of the fact that it could be weeks more...17 days, to be exact, until I was two weeks over and would have to be induced. I left for home, made dinner, ate, and Alan, Evie and I were hanging out in Sawyer's room. I felt like my pelvis kind of hurt, so I got off the floor to sit in the cushy chair, sat down and felt a spurt of warm liquid. I thought I peed myself, though I tried to stop it, and it didn't work. Alan got a towel, thankfully before I got the chair wet. I moved tot he downstairs bathroom and kept trickling. I peed, and emptied my bladder and just sat there for a little bit. More mucous plug. I stood up from the toilet and trickled some more. Evie came in and asked me if I was pottying on the floor (not a good thing for her to see when we're trying to potty train, lol.) I went to the computer to try to look up t he likelihood of having just been assessed as so low on the Bishop's score this morning, but breaking my bag. I stood up from the computer, thinking I was being dumb, and I was just incontinent from coughing so much over the last few days (I've been sick.) Well...I stood up, and gush. Onto the towel I was sitting on. I called the doctor's office and the doctor on call called me back. Dr. Sarinopoulis. So he told me it sounded like I broke my bag and that I should go to the hospital and expect to stay. I said ok and hung up.
I called Jen to come watch Evie and started to get things together. The more I moved around, the more I was convinced that this was me breaking my water, so I had the doctor paged again. I had talked to my doula and told her that they wanted me to go in and that I was concerned that my doctor, MY doctor, Dr. Ehrenberger, had told me I could stay home for 6 hours after my water broke. She told me that I could go in and then ask to be sent home. I heard back from the doctor again and told him I was more certain that I'd ruptured my sac, and that I was reluctant to go in, unless they would be willing to check that it was fluid and then send me home to start labor. He said absolutely not, at which point I let him know that I would not be going in to the hospital, as I REALLY wanted to avoid being induced, and they wounded ready to just go ahead and start induction. He was not amused, but consented to that and wished me luck. Alan and I tucked Evie in, after reading "Big Sister" to her once more, and I got another call from the doctor. He told me that he had just learned that I was group-b strep positive and that he had to advise me to go in to the hospital. I told him that I understood his position, but that I felt comfortable being at home and would go in 6 hours, and they could get me ampicillin then. He caught on that I wasn't rushing in there.
Jen got here and I caught her up to speed. Evie was asleep, so I watched TV with Jen, got some things together, and Alan got the car seats switched and he got packed. And that brings us up to right now. I haven't had any noticeable contractions, so I am getting a little nervous. I know that the longer I wait the more likelihood of infection, so I will abide by the going in around 3 a.m. or so. I am just nervous that they won't give me a chance. We'll have to see what happens in the next few hours, and what my bishop score is when I get to the hospital. At least at that point, they will call Dr. Ehrenberger and we can get on the same page.
Alan is going to take a nap (it's 10:35), Jen and Evie are asleep and I am going to go try to get a little rest. Come out, come out wherever you are, little man. Let the contractions begin!!!
Yesterday, I noticed that I started to lose my mucus plug, a little bit at a time. I had my almost 40 week appointment this morning. After telling the doctor that there were no new symptoms, other than the little bits of plug dislodging, but no more contractions, etc. He did a cervical exam and when done said, "well...the good news is that you're going to have a baby, but just not today." He reported that I was not at all dilated, was 0% effaced, but that my cervix was soft. That was all. I left being pretty dejected and in a generally bad mood.
I went in to work and tried to get my mind off of the fact that it could be weeks more...17 days, to be exact, until I was two weeks over and would have to be induced. I left for home, made dinner, ate, and Alan, Evie and I were hanging out in Sawyer's room. I felt like my pelvis kind of hurt, so I got off the floor to sit in the cushy chair, sat down and felt a spurt of warm liquid. I thought I peed myself, though I tried to stop it, and it didn't work. Alan got a towel, thankfully before I got the chair wet. I moved tot he downstairs bathroom and kept trickling. I peed, and emptied my bladder and just sat there for a little bit. More mucous plug. I stood up from the toilet and trickled some more. Evie came in and asked me if I was pottying on the floor (not a good thing for her to see when we're trying to potty train, lol.) I went to the computer to try to look up t he likelihood of having just been assessed as so low on the Bishop's score this morning, but breaking my bag. I stood up from the computer, thinking I was being dumb, and I was just incontinent from coughing so much over the last few days (I've been sick.) Well...I stood up, and gush. Onto the towel I was sitting on. I called the doctor's office and the doctor on call called me back. Dr. Sarinopoulis. So he told me it sounded like I broke my bag and that I should go to the hospital and expect to stay. I said ok and hung up.
I called Jen to come watch Evie and started to get things together. The more I moved around, the more I was convinced that this was me breaking my water, so I had the doctor paged again. I had talked to my doula and told her that they wanted me to go in and that I was concerned that my doctor, MY doctor, Dr. Ehrenberger, had told me I could stay home for 6 hours after my water broke. She told me that I could go in and then ask to be sent home. I heard back from the doctor again and told him I was more certain that I'd ruptured my sac, and that I was reluctant to go in, unless they would be willing to check that it was fluid and then send me home to start labor. He said absolutely not, at which point I let him know that I would not be going in to the hospital, as I REALLY wanted to avoid being induced, and they wounded ready to just go ahead and start induction. He was not amused, but consented to that and wished me luck. Alan and I tucked Evie in, after reading "Big Sister" to her once more, and I got another call from the doctor. He told me that he had just learned that I was group-b strep positive and that he had to advise me to go in to the hospital. I told him that I understood his position, but that I felt comfortable being at home and would go in 6 hours, and they could get me ampicillin then. He caught on that I wasn't rushing in there.
Jen got here and I caught her up to speed. Evie was asleep, so I watched TV with Jen, got some things together, and Alan got the car seats switched and he got packed. And that brings us up to right now. I haven't had any noticeable contractions, so I am getting a little nervous. I know that the longer I wait the more likelihood of infection, so I will abide by the going in around 3 a.m. or so. I am just nervous that they won't give me a chance. We'll have to see what happens in the next few hours, and what my bishop score is when I get to the hospital. At least at that point, they will call Dr. Ehrenberger and we can get on the same page.
Alan is going to take a nap (it's 10:35), Jen and Evie are asleep and I am going to go try to get a little rest. Come out, come out wherever you are, little man. Let the contractions begin!!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thank you, Girls
I just wanted to say, "Thank you!" to all of you who planned a sneaky attack of a shower. How smart of you to use the ploy that we were getting together for one of my favorite activities, carving pumpkins! Deftly done! I don't think I will need to buy diapers or wipes for at least 6 months :) Andrea, the food was SO good and all my faves. I love you guys, and am so glad to be bringing another child into the fold of such good sisters. Thanks, again.
Mumma, Alan, Evie and Sawyer V.
Mumma, Alan, Evie and Sawyer V.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
More of the same
So...I had my 39 week appointment today, though I am not officially 39 weeks until Friday. It was HIGHLY uneventful. I has mentioned to Dr. E previously, rather in jest, that I didn't know why he'd bother checking for dilation, because it doesn't change things. I think he was listening, since that is almost exactly what he told me today, so no assessment. I am actually happy about that. I was curious, and had a little twinge of disappointment, but got over that quickly. If he doesn't feel like he needs to do one next week, I am down with that as well. For one, you could walk around for weeks several centimeters dilated. On the other hand, he could report that I had no dilation, which would bum me out, and I'd rather not know. I prefer to be hopeful, and just be ready whenever. The good news from the visit is that Dr. Salas-Myers agreed to take over my care if I deliver while Dr. E is out of town. He has already gone over my birthing wishes with her and she has no problems with that.
I just finished reading "Hypnobirthing" and wish that I had taken a class. I am not sure exactly how "deep" I will be able to train myself to go in the next two weeks, but I know I will benefit from at least some of it. There are things in that book that I am not completely sold on, so my approach will be an amalgamation of a few different methods. I am happy that my doula has also read the book, which she did once she learned that I was practicing it. But things like not allowing anyone to come visit unless they are there to do something for us, so as to not disrupt our bonding time, is bunk. Evie is one of the most sociable, loving kids and I am pretty sure I didn't cordon her off to myself, allowing no one to hold her for weeks. I am calling BS on that theory. That being said, I am actually quite happy that no one besides Alan, Lisa (Doula) and myself will be involved in the actual labor and birth. I truly will want to be unconcerned about anyone but us, and getting this guy out as gently and easily as possible. I do intend to keep him skin to skin for as long as they will allow, though. They will have to pry him away from me after he is born. I just want to meet him already!
I am actually doing fine other than the profound lack of sleep. It is a cruel irony that when you are this pregnant, you get crappy sleep, when you most need to stock up on rest! Practice, my ass. I don't need practice at not getting sleep! I need a good night's rest before I get ready to deliver this guy and start caring for him! Another (completely random) observation...How the hell am I supposed to be checking for the passage of this mucus plug? I can't see past my damn abdomen into the toilet. I don't really care to go scanning the bowl post-pee, either. I am going to stick to my current plan of just not wanting to know. If I pass it, it means nothing, anyway. Again...it could be weeks. Now...should I see any show or break my water, I will be a believer, but until then...I am just going to remain pregnant and hopeful. Did I mention that I had several rounds of contractions on Friday, for almost an hour, a bit over 5 minutes apart, but not even close to a minute each and certainly not intensifying...then they stopped, and not a peep since? At least SOMETHING is going on in there. I am fine with whatever happens, though I am really hoping for a spontaneous labor, some time before November 8...but if not, it just means that the little man needs more time to prepare (he will, after all, need to prepare himself to deal with his big sister!)
All else is good...Work has slowed, so I am now just doing preparations for my leave and my return to two new studies. I am now shadowing my replacement, instead of the other way around. Bodily...let's see. My right foot/ankle actually swells more than my left - weird, huh? But neither have gotten any worse as of late, just kind of generally puffy. No swelling in my hands or anywhere else, so that is good. No protein/glucose in urine, great BP, mild backaches, peeing ALL the time, the sleep thing, sporadic sciatica issues, but really not bad. Heartburn...how could I forget? That is one thing that gets pretty old, pretty quick.
I have so much to do still, completing the decoration of Sawyer's room...and I don't know why I am procrastinating! I have to finish his painting and some sewing projects, but I have gotten a few things done off my list. I packed my hospital bag, finally. I finished all the swaddling blankets for him, and I made his first stroller blanket, which came out AWESOME. I really love it. I hope he loves his as much as Evie loves her Blanket (notice, capitalization to denote it being its own entity...) I'll take some pictures of his room, as a few people have asked...but I really can't wait to get some motivation and get it ALL put together.
All right...rambling now, so I guess I had better go. To all of you out there who have recently had your babies come into your world (Beth - June is beautiful!!!) or are anxiously awaiting their arrival...I am thinking of you often. (Sange...stay in bed and Carly, you be a good girl and stay in Momma.) I am really trying to cherish these final days as I know they will be the last I will ever be pregnant. And then we get to meet Sawyer. And introduce him to his big sis and start our life together as four. Love to all, and I will update soon.
Mumma, Out
I just finished reading "Hypnobirthing" and wish that I had taken a class. I am not sure exactly how "deep" I will be able to train myself to go in the next two weeks, but I know I will benefit from at least some of it. There are things in that book that I am not completely sold on, so my approach will be an amalgamation of a few different methods. I am happy that my doula has also read the book, which she did once she learned that I was practicing it. But things like not allowing anyone to come visit unless they are there to do something for us, so as to not disrupt our bonding time, is bunk. Evie is one of the most sociable, loving kids and I am pretty sure I didn't cordon her off to myself, allowing no one to hold her for weeks. I am calling BS on that theory. That being said, I am actually quite happy that no one besides Alan, Lisa (Doula) and myself will be involved in the actual labor and birth. I truly will want to be unconcerned about anyone but us, and getting this guy out as gently and easily as possible. I do intend to keep him skin to skin for as long as they will allow, though. They will have to pry him away from me after he is born. I just want to meet him already!
I am actually doing fine other than the profound lack of sleep. It is a cruel irony that when you are this pregnant, you get crappy sleep, when you most need to stock up on rest! Practice, my ass. I don't need practice at not getting sleep! I need a good night's rest before I get ready to deliver this guy and start caring for him! Another (completely random) observation...How the hell am I supposed to be checking for the passage of this mucus plug? I can't see past my damn abdomen into the toilet. I don't really care to go scanning the bowl post-pee, either. I am going to stick to my current plan of just not wanting to know. If I pass it, it means nothing, anyway. Again...it could be weeks. Now...should I see any show or break my water, I will be a believer, but until then...I am just going to remain pregnant and hopeful. Did I mention that I had several rounds of contractions on Friday, for almost an hour, a bit over 5 minutes apart, but not even close to a minute each and certainly not intensifying...then they stopped, and not a peep since? At least SOMETHING is going on in there. I am fine with whatever happens, though I am really hoping for a spontaneous labor, some time before November 8...but if not, it just means that the little man needs more time to prepare (he will, after all, need to prepare himself to deal with his big sister!)
All else is good...Work has slowed, so I am now just doing preparations for my leave and my return to two new studies. I am now shadowing my replacement, instead of the other way around. Bodily...let's see. My right foot/ankle actually swells more than my left - weird, huh? But neither have gotten any worse as of late, just kind of generally puffy. No swelling in my hands or anywhere else, so that is good. No protein/glucose in urine, great BP, mild backaches, peeing ALL the time, the sleep thing, sporadic sciatica issues, but really not bad. Heartburn...how could I forget? That is one thing that gets pretty old, pretty quick.
I have so much to do still, completing the decoration of Sawyer's room...and I don't know why I am procrastinating! I have to finish his painting and some sewing projects, but I have gotten a few things done off my list. I packed my hospital bag, finally. I finished all the swaddling blankets for him, and I made his first stroller blanket, which came out AWESOME. I really love it. I hope he loves his as much as Evie loves her Blanket (notice, capitalization to denote it being its own entity...) I'll take some pictures of his room, as a few people have asked...but I really can't wait to get some motivation and get it ALL put together.
All right...rambling now, so I guess I had better go. To all of you out there who have recently had your babies come into your world (Beth - June is beautiful!!!) or are anxiously awaiting their arrival...I am thinking of you often. (Sange...stay in bed and Carly, you be a good girl and stay in Momma.) I am really trying to cherish these final days as I know they will be the last I will ever be pregnant. And then we get to meet Sawyer. And introduce him to his big sis and start our life together as four. Love to all, and I will update soon.
Mumma, Out
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Seriously...80's again?
Not the 1980's...this is the NOT SO FUN, 80 degrees that is forecast in the next few days. I thought we were done with that. not so much.
Not much to report on my end...just more Braxton-Hicks, which is exciting, and NOVEL. I am almost through my Hypnobirthing book, which I really like, but I am just a little nervous about the lack of practice time I have left. If anything, I guess it will help me relax, even if I can't master self-hypnosis by the time buddy boy comes.
Feet, huge and "jiggly" as pointed out to me today (yeah...I know, they are attached to my legs...it's gross.) Sciatica is flaring a little, but not badly. I only wake up once a night to pee and then right back to sleep. The new pregnancy pillow is the best thing I think I have bought in a long time. I wish I had it for my pregnancy with Evie! If any of you out there are getting big and pregnant, get thyself a snoogle, or boppy prego pillow or similar. Completely worth the money.
My friends at work started a pool, and I guessed 11/7/10, 9 lbs., 1 oz., 22 inches. My new BFF is Halley, ( despite the jiggly-feet observation) coming in earliest at Halloween. If only. I will post more once I see my doctor next week, as that will be my first cervical check. I asked him, kind of rhetorically, "what's the point?" But he didn't answer. What is the point? I am going to go when I go...even if I am dilated two centimeters...it could be weeks. We'll see, I guess.
More to come then.
Mumma, Out
Not much to report on my end...just more Braxton-Hicks, which is exciting, and NOVEL. I am almost through my Hypnobirthing book, which I really like, but I am just a little nervous about the lack of practice time I have left. If anything, I guess it will help me relax, even if I can't master self-hypnosis by the time buddy boy comes.
Feet, huge and "jiggly" as pointed out to me today (yeah...I know, they are attached to my legs...it's gross.) Sciatica is flaring a little, but not badly. I only wake up once a night to pee and then right back to sleep. The new pregnancy pillow is the best thing I think I have bought in a long time. I wish I had it for my pregnancy with Evie! If any of you out there are getting big and pregnant, get thyself a snoogle, or boppy prego pillow or similar. Completely worth the money.
My friends at work started a pool, and I guessed 11/7/10, 9 lbs., 1 oz., 22 inches. My new BFF is Halley, ( despite the jiggly-feet observation) coming in earliest at Halloween. If only. I will post more once I see my doctor next week, as that will be my first cervical check. I asked him, kind of rhetorically, "what's the point?" But he didn't answer. What is the point? I am going to go when I go...even if I am dilated two centimeters...it could be weeks. We'll see, I guess.
More to come then.
Mumma, Out
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