This will be short, as I am really beat, but still wanted to share that we have a real, apparently healthy, strong heart ticking away in there. He/She is right on the beat, and everything is completely normal. I am 14 weeks, and next week we get the ultrasound! I am so happy to be able to share this with family, first hand, this time.
I couldn't tell you what I weighed/how much I have gained because I closed my eyes and told them to only tell me if it becomes a problem, otherwise, keep it to themselves. I had the one stranger last week ask me if I was pregnant, and more people at work are commenting on the bump. At this point last time, I was still (barely) in my normal girl clothes. Not the case. Dr. E commented on how lots of women feel huge their second time around...is this some allusion to the weight I didn't want to know? Regardless, I agreed, as I feel embarrassed if anyone asks me how far along I am, because I feel like I look WAY farther along than I am. No worries, though. I am growing a healthy kid, in there, so I can cut myself come slack.
Alan and Evie were with me today at the appointment, so we could all hear the baby together. Evie, as Dr. Ehrenberger held the doppler over the baby's heart, said "baby", "mommy". This is one smart kid. I don't know how she seems to know so much, but she amazes us. She still loves her baby doll and has begun to do a really great job "feeding" and putting the doll to bed. We moved the crib into the new nursery and moved all of Evie's things into her new big girl room. She is sleeping in there, as I write, having fallen asleep with Mommy on the bed after reading innumerable books. This is my new favorite ritual, and one that I hope to keep going, no matter what, in the future. She tries to sing along with 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' and does a great job phonetically, though she doesn't really make any of the words complete. We can only hope to have a second baby half as wonderful as this one. Still...not convinced that you can love another equally, but I am open to the possibility ;)
Mumma, Out
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
How do you love again, so much?
I was putting Evie to bed this evening, and just couldn't help but wonder, "How do I love another baby like I have loved this one?" I know everyone says that you "just do," but really? I will always have know Evie longer. She will always be my first, best introduction to what it is to be a mother, and to love someone THAT much.
I worry about her getting the love and attention she is used to. Can it multiply, to cover them all, including Alan? Is there an endless supply? I have to have a plan, a way to ensure that she gets me/Alan all to herself enough. What's enough? We are planning on keeping Evie in daycare part-time while I am on maternity leave, to help me take care of an BOND with the new baby, and so as to not disrupt her routine completely. I am thinking I will also bring the new baby to daycare once a week while on leave, and have Evie all to myself.
No new pregnancy symptoms, etc. The acne is getting a bit old, and the heartburn could suddenly go away, and I wouldn't be sad...but I am sure I will live :) one week until I get to hear this little Bebe finally! 2.5 more weeks until the ultrasound. It is moving rather quickly this time. I guess that is what happens when you are busy with your baby you already have. That's all from here. All good.
I worry about her getting the love and attention she is used to. Can it multiply, to cover them all, including Alan? Is there an endless supply? I have to have a plan, a way to ensure that she gets me/Alan all to herself enough. What's enough? We are planning on keeping Evie in daycare part-time while I am on maternity leave, to help me take care of an BOND with the new baby, and so as to not disrupt her routine completely. I am thinking I will also bring the new baby to daycare once a week while on leave, and have Evie all to myself.
No new pregnancy symptoms, etc. The acne is getting a bit old, and the heartburn could suddenly go away, and I wouldn't be sad...but I am sure I will live :) one week until I get to hear this little Bebe finally! 2.5 more weeks until the ultrasound. It is moving rather quickly this time. I guess that is what happens when you are busy with your baby you already have. That's all from here. All good.
Monday, April 19, 2010
nothing much doin'
Not much to report, other than that we are a flurry of activity at our place, trying to get ready for all of the visitors we will have for Evie's birthday...Rooms to be put together, landscaping to do, everything to clean. We are super excited, though!
I am tired, but not as bad as the last month...things are looking up! Evie now sees my belly, and says "baby" when asked what is in there. Not that I am showing much, yet, but it is never too early to prepare her for what's to come. She will be the best big sister! I plan on spending as much one-on-one time with her as I can...I think in the long-run, she'll be thrilled about a sibling, but I know there will be those times of jealousy :(
I am in the process of collecting things that we need off of craigslist. I bought a mobile and an extra boppy this weekend and will buying the crib set that I always wanted, but could never afford ($350, for some fabric and batting!?)...pictures soon to come!
That's all from here - Mumma, out
I am tired, but not as bad as the last month...things are looking up! Evie now sees my belly, and says "baby" when asked what is in there. Not that I am showing much, yet, but it is never too early to prepare her for what's to come. She will be the best big sister! I plan on spending as much one-on-one time with her as I can...I think in the long-run, she'll be thrilled about a sibling, but I know there will be those times of jealousy :(
I am in the process of collecting things that we need off of craigslist. I bought a mobile and an extra boppy this weekend and will buying the crib set that I always wanted, but could never afford ($350, for some fabric and batting!?)...pictures soon to come!
That's all from here - Mumma, out
Friday, April 16, 2010
people say the damndest things...
12 weeks pregnant, 196 days to go (but who's counting?)
So, it is funny to me... I have recently had several people, mainly casual acquaintances, and people I work with say, "I didn't even know you were trying to get pregnant." when I tell them we are expecting. Is this a little weird? Who else, other than your partner ,and possibly your doctor, do you need to notify that you are now on a mission to get knocked up? Should there be daily reporting to said people? "Hey, we tried again last night, so wish us luck!" just doesn't seem like water cooler chatter. I'm just saying
Along the lines of what other people have had to say about all this; One phrase I probably don't need to hear again is, "You have just GOT TO have a BOY!" Firstly, Since January 31st, we have had not control over this. I am pretty sure it is a done deal. Secondly, this smacks of the "Gender Disappointment" that has become so loathsome a topic for me. How about, "I am hoping for a beautiful, healthy baby for you!"? Every time someone says that to me, I am thinking, "are you going to be sad and pity me if I have a second girl?" I won't be sad in the least. More to come on the "GD" thing, but I am putting this out there now. Certainly, there are benefits to having a boy OR a girl, but I do not see any drawbacks to either. A girl would potentially be more of a confidante for Evie and...I am cheap...we already have all the girly stuff! A boy would "round out" the clan and provide us with the "total experience", but it will take some convincing Evie that, contrary to her current belief, that "thing" in a boy's diaper is NOT "poo poo." There! I found a drawback :)
No new prego effects...I have been sleeping through the night, which is wonderful, and the extreme fatigue seems to be easing a bit, but this still has not led to me getting my butt on the elliptical. We'll work on that. I have my next OB appointment on the 28th and have scheduled the 16 week ultrasound to coincide with the Grandmas' visit, May 7th (Evie's birthday!)
Love to you all, Mumma
So, it is funny to me... I have recently had several people, mainly casual acquaintances, and people I work with say, "I didn't even know you were trying to get pregnant." when I tell them we are expecting. Is this a little weird? Who else, other than your partner ,and possibly your doctor, do you need to notify that you are now on a mission to get knocked up? Should there be daily reporting to said people? "Hey, we tried again last night, so wish us luck!" just doesn't seem like water cooler chatter. I'm just saying
Along the lines of what other people have had to say about all this; One phrase I probably don't need to hear again is, "You have just GOT TO have a BOY!" Firstly, Since January 31st, we have had not control over this. I am pretty sure it is a done deal. Secondly, this smacks of the "Gender Disappointment" that has become so loathsome a topic for me. How about, "I am hoping for a beautiful, healthy baby for you!"? Every time someone says that to me, I am thinking, "are you going to be sad and pity me if I have a second girl?" I won't be sad in the least. More to come on the "GD" thing, but I am putting this out there now. Certainly, there are benefits to having a boy OR a girl, but I do not see any drawbacks to either. A girl would potentially be more of a confidante for Evie and...I am cheap...we already have all the girly stuff! A boy would "round out" the clan and provide us with the "total experience", but it will take some convincing Evie that, contrary to her current belief, that "thing" in a boy's diaper is NOT "poo poo." There! I found a drawback :)
No new prego effects...I have been sleeping through the night, which is wonderful, and the extreme fatigue seems to be easing a bit, but this still has not led to me getting my butt on the elliptical. We'll work on that. I have my next OB appointment on the 28th and have scheduled the 16 week ultrasound to coincide with the Grandmas' visit, May 7th (Evie's birthday!)
Love to you all, Mumma
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Getting to where we are
I apparently was not web-savvy enough to do this for this first go-around, but here we go...lengthy first entry, because I have some catching up to do!
The decision to try for Baby #2 took some soul-searching for Alan and me. We love our family of three, love having had such a happy little girl, and didn't know if we'd be pushing our luck, tempting fate, what have you... After seeing Evie with our new nephew, Dustin, over Christmas, we really starting deliberating. We had the room now, we both have fairly stable jobs, and Evie OBVIOUSLY was not averse to the idea.
I had an IUD in, so we knew that it would have to be a deliberate and conscious decision to attempt to have another. There would be no, "Surprise, I am pregnant" that would somehow make the decision for us. I had been reading, online of course, and read about a few "horror stories" from women who had never had any trouble conceiving previously, but had trouble after having had an IUD. Sure, we got pregnant within a month with Evie, but this time I was nervous. I pictured us deciding we deifinitely wanted another baby, and me getting older by the day, while we struggled to get pregnant. 36 sounds so old to me, for having a baby. Yes, my mother was 43 when she had me, but that was luck that she didn't have any trouble and that I was (relatively) normal. :) Plus, I didn't want to do that to a baby...I can remember being at soccer with kids I didn't know well, and them saying, "Hey, Lauri, your grandparents are here." Not malicious, just kids assuming the wrong thing. I don't remember my parents having time or energy to play with or read to me, and I want to be different.
We decided to have the IUD taken out, just in case, and to give me time to "normalize" while we decided. If we decided no baby, Alan was going to have a vasectomy, so I didn't need the IUD anyway. I had it removed January 18th, 2010. I had just had a menstrual period the week before, so I figured it would be at least another 3 weeks before I had another. Nope...try 4 days. January 22nd, it started. I was suspicious that this was some sort of post-removal bleeding, but figured out my potentially fertile days, in case this was a real cycle. When I told Alan, he had not decided in the affirmative, so we used "protection." We originally had decided, that if we were going to try, we'd wait until April, since we didn't want a December baby (all you Filars will understand why.) On the very last day of my calculated fertility window, I mentioned to Alan, in passing, "You know, if we were to get pregnant now, that would give us a Halloween due date." Apparently that was all I needed to say to sway Alan. January 31st -no protection, game on, go time.
I was in a study and was due to have a brain scan again in February, and then fly to San Diego for an Investigator Meeting Feb. 18 - 21st. I didn't get my period by the 16th, but was not suspicious, after what I had read aboout it taking months for some women, following IUD removal. Just in case, the morning of the MRI, I took a urine pregnancy test, which came back negative. I went ahead with the MRI, went to San Diego with Alan and had a really great time.
The night we got back from San Diego (Feb 21st, 2010), I was feeling queasy and excessively tired, even a few hours after our flight. I went to the store, got another test, and "HOLY CRAP" - It was positive! Alan seemed a little shell-shocked. In the days following, I took in excess of 8 tests (we have a ton of extras at work) all of which came back in varying degrees of positivity, but all at least mildly affirmative. I became a regular connoiseur (the ones with the well and pipet are the best!) before I finally got in to get a blood draw with my doctor. I had told Seda, because I knew my secret was safe with her, and cannot keep anything a secret very well, for very long. I also told Mel. Once I got confirmation from the doctor, It started to sink in. I was feeling VERY tired and couldn't eat dinner most nights, and breakfast was iffy, at best, most mornings. Come mid-day, though, Watch your fingers and keep them out of my path if there was food! Ravenous! Not one single episode of vomiting, though, (so far) so that is an improvement over last time. I told most of the peeps at work, because I was SO exhausted all the time, and didn't want them to think I was dying on them, like last time. Other early symptoms included; breast enlargement/pain, acne, not sleeping through the night and FREQUENT urination.
Our first appointment with Dr. Ehrenberger was scheduled for March 30th, because when I called, that is when the receptionist told me to come in. I got there, waited, was brought in to the exam room, and Alan was picking up Evie and coming later, toward when Dr. E would likely be getting in with me. Nikki, Dr. E's assistant, pointed out that it had not been long since I had been in there, and how "efficient" we were at making babies. "What happened to waiting until April?" she said. Alan arrived, Dr. E came in, and gave me a physical and talked to us. He pointed out that it was pretty early for us to be in there, and that we'd not be able to hear a heartbeat at that point (9.5 weeks.) He alleviated some of my fears when he said he had no intention of treating me as "high risk" just because of my age, unless something changed that.
After that visit, I called my mom and siblings and told them all. Most were told, "So, it is official. I can't do the Triathalon in August," and most made the assumption that it was due to me finally getting my shoulder surgery. I informed them otherwise ;) That was fun! Then there were the Filars to tell...and for that, I had other plans!
I had to travel to Chicago for a meeting in early April and was, naturally, bringing Evie. Weeks before, I purchased her a shirt that read 'BIG SISTER' and devised a plan. I would put the shirt on Evie and let them work it out for themselves. It was too cold to unveil the shirt when Maria picked us up at the airport, so I had to wait until we got to their house. The result can be seen in My Videos on my facebook page. It was AWESOME!!! I later told Sange and Matty and then posted the video once I got back. That seemed like a good way to "go public." That was last weekend, so that brings us to now.
Now...I am excited. I am tired, a little queasy, eager, anxious, but mostly, just thrilled! I am so happy we made this decision, and cannot wait to complete our family. Topics to be covered in future installments...How whacked it is to have "gender disappointment," why it pays to keep your baby stuff, and how much I miss beer. Love all around - Mumma, out.
The decision to try for Baby #2 took some soul-searching for Alan and me. We love our family of three, love having had such a happy little girl, and didn't know if we'd be pushing our luck, tempting fate, what have you... After seeing Evie with our new nephew, Dustin, over Christmas, we really starting deliberating. We had the room now, we both have fairly stable jobs, and Evie OBVIOUSLY was not averse to the idea.
I had an IUD in, so we knew that it would have to be a deliberate and conscious decision to attempt to have another. There would be no, "Surprise, I am pregnant" that would somehow make the decision for us. I had been reading, online of course, and read about a few "horror stories" from women who had never had any trouble conceiving previously, but had trouble after having had an IUD. Sure, we got pregnant within a month with Evie, but this time I was nervous. I pictured us deciding we deifinitely wanted another baby, and me getting older by the day, while we struggled to get pregnant. 36 sounds so old to me, for having a baby. Yes, my mother was 43 when she had me, but that was luck that she didn't have any trouble and that I was (relatively) normal. :) Plus, I didn't want to do that to a baby...I can remember being at soccer with kids I didn't know well, and them saying, "Hey, Lauri, your grandparents are here." Not malicious, just kids assuming the wrong thing. I don't remember my parents having time or energy to play with or read to me, and I want to be different.
We decided to have the IUD taken out, just in case, and to give me time to "normalize" while we decided. If we decided no baby, Alan was going to have a vasectomy, so I didn't need the IUD anyway. I had it removed January 18th, 2010. I had just had a menstrual period the week before, so I figured it would be at least another 3 weeks before I had another. Nope...try 4 days. January 22nd, it started. I was suspicious that this was some sort of post-removal bleeding, but figured out my potentially fertile days, in case this was a real cycle. When I told Alan, he had not decided in the affirmative, so we used "protection." We originally had decided, that if we were going to try, we'd wait until April, since we didn't want a December baby (all you Filars will understand why.) On the very last day of my calculated fertility window, I mentioned to Alan, in passing, "You know, if we were to get pregnant now, that would give us a Halloween due date." Apparently that was all I needed to say to sway Alan. January 31st -no protection, game on, go time.
I was in a study and was due to have a brain scan again in February, and then fly to San Diego for an Investigator Meeting Feb. 18 - 21st. I didn't get my period by the 16th, but was not suspicious, after what I had read aboout it taking months for some women, following IUD removal. Just in case, the morning of the MRI, I took a urine pregnancy test, which came back negative. I went ahead with the MRI, went to San Diego with Alan and had a really great time.
The night we got back from San Diego (Feb 21st, 2010), I was feeling queasy and excessively tired, even a few hours after our flight. I went to the store, got another test, and "HOLY CRAP" - It was positive! Alan seemed a little shell-shocked. In the days following, I took in excess of 8 tests (we have a ton of extras at work) all of which came back in varying degrees of positivity, but all at least mildly affirmative. I became a regular connoiseur (the ones with the well and pipet are the best!) before I finally got in to get a blood draw with my doctor. I had told Seda, because I knew my secret was safe with her, and cannot keep anything a secret very well, for very long. I also told Mel. Once I got confirmation from the doctor, It started to sink in. I was feeling VERY tired and couldn't eat dinner most nights, and breakfast was iffy, at best, most mornings. Come mid-day, though, Watch your fingers and keep them out of my path if there was food! Ravenous! Not one single episode of vomiting, though, (so far) so that is an improvement over last time. I told most of the peeps at work, because I was SO exhausted all the time, and didn't want them to think I was dying on them, like last time. Other early symptoms included; breast enlargement/pain, acne, not sleeping through the night and FREQUENT urination.
Our first appointment with Dr. Ehrenberger was scheduled for March 30th, because when I called, that is when the receptionist told me to come in. I got there, waited, was brought in to the exam room, and Alan was picking up Evie and coming later, toward when Dr. E would likely be getting in with me. Nikki, Dr. E's assistant, pointed out that it had not been long since I had been in there, and how "efficient" we were at making babies. "What happened to waiting until April?" she said. Alan arrived, Dr. E came in, and gave me a physical and talked to us. He pointed out that it was pretty early for us to be in there, and that we'd not be able to hear a heartbeat at that point (9.5 weeks.) He alleviated some of my fears when he said he had no intention of treating me as "high risk" just because of my age, unless something changed that.
After that visit, I called my mom and siblings and told them all. Most were told, "So, it is official. I can't do the Triathalon in August," and most made the assumption that it was due to me finally getting my shoulder surgery. I informed them otherwise ;) That was fun! Then there were the Filars to tell...and for that, I had other plans!
I had to travel to Chicago for a meeting in early April and was, naturally, bringing Evie. Weeks before, I purchased her a shirt that read 'BIG SISTER' and devised a plan. I would put the shirt on Evie and let them work it out for themselves. It was too cold to unveil the shirt when Maria picked us up at the airport, so I had to wait until we got to their house. The result can be seen in My Videos on my facebook page. It was AWESOME!!! I later told Sange and Matty and then posted the video once I got back. That seemed like a good way to "go public." That was last weekend, so that brings us to now.
Now...I am excited. I am tired, a little queasy, eager, anxious, but mostly, just thrilled! I am so happy we made this decision, and cannot wait to complete our family. Topics to be covered in future installments...How whacked it is to have "gender disappointment," why it pays to keep your baby stuff, and how much I miss beer. Love all around - Mumma, out.
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